A Pirate Lost at Land

Gotta Love a Good Simpsons Reference.

2010-04-20T11:41:00.003-04:00

I was rather proud of my subtle reference to the Simpsons in today's blog post. Thought you'd enjoy.

Is this a DEFCON: Fail for me?

My Big Fancy Post and Other Things

2010-04-17T20:03:00.003-04:00

I just realized that I didn't post a link to my guest blogging appearance on The Best Defense, which just won the 2010 Best Blog award. The blog is headed by Tom Ricks, perhaps most famous for his recent work The Gamble. It's almost an unreal experience not only write for him, but also casually speak with him, and just today I met his wife when they stopped by the office, yes I'm in the office on a Saturday (I kinda love my job though, so it doesn't even matter), when I consider that it was only a few months ago that I was reading and analyzing The Gamble for the John Glenn program.
I also found out that I get to write some text boxes for one of our big upcoming Natural Security reports! The one already finished looks back at the Army Nuclear Power Program, which is wicked interesting. They constructed a nuclear reactor and put it on a battleship hull, docked it down to Panama, and ran the land-based military installation there off it for years.

Kittinger's 50 year record no more?

2010-04-01T12:04:00.006-04:00

I'm kinda sad to see someone breaking the record of Kittenger, the guy that's in the pic above.

DEFCON: Fail

2010-04-01T11:36:00.002-04:00

Holy crap! I thought this was an April Fools joke on behalf of the LA Times. . . it sadly is not.

DEFCON: Fail for sure.

Yes I got to do this for work!

2010-04-01T10:49:00.000-04:00

My interview with the High Commander.

Now I'm Official!

2010-03-22T10:24:00.003-04:00

If I didn't think I'd be booted from the office, I'd fall down to my side and rejoice in the style of one Homer Jay Simpson.
A few weeks ago I posted a book review of Cleo Paskal's book Global Warring. I enjoyed the book, but apparently no one enjoyed the post, as there were no comments or even much buzz in the office about it. Someone who did take notice was the books author. Yesterday on her blog, Cleo Paskal posted a section of my review and a link to read more. Huzzah!
I'm quite excited, to say the least.

Disposable Values

2010-03-21T21:45:00.002-04:00

While walking around the National Mall yesterday, I got to witness a crowd of just under 2,000 people protesting the new health care bill. They were gathered around the Capitol, and House Office buildings. On my way back to my apartment a few hours later, not only had the crowd dwindled to 300 (at best) on the plaza side of the Capitol, but all the other places previously occupied by said protesters, had become a ghost town of abandoned and thrown out picket signs.
I began taking pictures, finding it all slightly ironic, especially when I saw one such abandoned sign declaring in large print "can you hear us now?," among the litter.
I thought it might be another little project of mine to compile pictures of the abandoned signs of various protests. The name for the project I came up with was "Disposable Values." Here's a peak at some of the pictures I took the other day. It includes a two protests, one against the healthcare reform, and the other much much much larger protest was for immigration change (which oddly enough was harder to find thrown out signs, despite the fact that there were tens of thousands of protesters). Enjoy!

DEFCON: Failing with the Family

2010-03-18T23:35:00.002-04:00

This one's from Uncle Larry.

I don't think I can have the same respect for pirates ever again if they're this dumb.

I'd really like to know what was said the second they realized their mistake.

Ok, I Really Need to Get that New Website Going

2010-03-15T11:54:00.004-04:00

DEFCON: FAIL (#2)

Sometimes a gem such as this comes along, and renews my faith in mankind's ability to provide me with a thought so purely awesome/idiotic, that I have no words and am forced instead to simply execute a solid facepalm.

Enjoy, and try not to give yourself a black eye with your own facepalming.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles. . . seriously

2010-03-05T17:11:00.003-05:00

I arrived safe and sound in Columbus today. Here's a run through of my day:

6:00am wake up

6:15am - 6:45am do news research for Natural Security project and send to the boss lady/man

7:00am begin my .5mile walk to Union Station (with two pieces of luggage)

7:30am board train (as in choo choo train) from DC to Baltimore

8:10am exit train and board shuttle bus to BWI airport

8:30am arrive at airport

8:40am all checked through (although I did get picked out of line for a random bomb residue scan on my hands. Completely unrelated note, I was wearing my Keffiyeh and told I looked Syrian later on).

9:00am - 10:00am work on SPHINX paper work

10:30am board flight

11:10am plane takes off (arrives in Columbus at 12:10pm)

12:20pm friend picks me up in a car

12:45pm back on campus

My current location? The library finishing more work. Even after graduation I'm a slave to this place. At least I'm happy, as you can clearly see. I love this place so much!

Defcon: FAIL

2010-03-04T09:31:00.001-05:00

A prime example of what Defcon:FAIL will feature.

We've Got a Great Big [blog] Convoy!

2010-02-26T11:22:00.002-05:00

It's days like these that I wonder, "How in the hell am I getting paid for this?"

Since starting work on the CNAS Natural Security Blog I've since created two brand new features for the blog. First was an idea to combine my nerdy obsession with the History Channel and my job, where I read war manuals, and relate their natural security components to contemporary and present engagements. I called the feature (Field) Manual Sift, a lame play on the term manual shift. This new feature is the Song of the Week, where I put together a playlist of songs that I both like, and can relate to natural security.
This first one brings me back to the days of playing a Goodyear cassette tape in my 2-XL, watching the red light bulb mimic the singers voice (not the point of the device mind you, but hey, when the hell did I ever do things the normal way?). I give you the inagural post of my second new Natural Security Blog feature Song of the Week: Convoy by C.W. McCall. Enjoy.

*My second post in one day, holy shit, surprised even me!

Nerdiest Impulse Buy Ever

2010-02-26T10:09:00.003-05:00

In my work at CNAS, I spend a lot of my day catching up on international and defense news. Having enjoyed the reportings of the completely non-news focused website FailBlog.org, for some time now, I've since adopted terming dissatisfying outcomes as "fails." Thus very often, when something humourusly wrong happens in defense, diplomacy or development news, I often find myself refering to it as a "fail."
Having a few momments to myself each day, I thought it best to jam them full of extra activities, and decided I would throw together a blog of my own. After mulling over which topics to cover, I landed on the idea of having a Fail Blog for international issues. The resulting idea, Defcon: Fail. I got really jazzed about the idea, and found I could purchase defconfail.com for only $7.50 a year, so needless to say, I now own it, for the next year at least.
I don't have a host for the site, and not enough time to really start anything with it, but hey, it's there.

I Should Not Be Getting Paid For This

2010-02-17T22:24:00.002-05:00

Here's my latest blog post on the Natural Security Blog. It features sarcasm, poking fun at scifi nerds, a dash of politics/military facts and yes. . . Avatar. I will tell you, the links make it priceless.

When did I write this you ask? During my short trip to Ohio State, for the purpose of going to a fancy reception for SPHINX Senior Honorary (which I'm in), the snowpocalypse decided it'd be funny to follow me to Columbus. I got stuck in Thompson Library and just hung out by a window texting friends that I had heard there was something crazy going on in the room I was in. Thus tricking people into braving the cold and hanging out with me. In the mean time, what better did I have to do but relate issues of national security to 10foot tall 3D aliens? Well, probably something decidedly more productive, but this is how it panned out.

Fate may have decided I needed a karma ass-whooping, because that snow I convinced people to brave snowed out campus and cancelled the event I flew in for.

The View from Atop Four Snowy Horsemen

2010-02-09T14:24:00.002-05:00

So here is what it looked like the day after the Snowpocalypse, Snowmageddon, Snowtorious B.I.G, whatever you'd like to call it. We had a huge chunk of the tree in the front yard fall over, and cars buried to the point that you could no longer see them. It was slightly surreal to see people in hoards trudging along down the street, emerging from the snow screen. Even more so when not a car could be seen in any directions, and you get passed by people in tennis racket snow shoes and cross country skis. It was hard not to imagine that this was a post-apocalyptic world with such a huge world symbol just a block and a half in the distance, obscured by the continuously falling snow.

SNOWPOCALYPSE!

2010-02-06T13:21:00.002-05:00

So DC has been enveloped in what people are terming the "snowpocalypse."

Thus far, a large check of tree has fallen in my front yard, blocking the entire path, cars are buried to the point that you can no longer even see them, and people have abandoned the sidewalks and started utilizing the street en-mass.

I've got a couple of great pics, and will be posting them tomorrow. For now, I'm bundling up and heading out to enjoy this storm of the century.

Capital City Recap

2010-01-25T21:00:00.002-05:00

Well, I am starting my fourth week here in DC. I haven't had much of a chance to get around the city, but that's not to say that I haven't been enjoying myself.
Currently my basement apartment is nearly packed with five guys (not the hamburgers, just five males), even though there's room for one more. One from Minnesota, who's due to leave tomorrow, another from South Boston (I haven't yet asked him to say the legendary "You're no f*cking cop" line from The Departed, but I'm pretty close to it), another guy from South Dakota, and a final guy from Poland (he finds the fact that I've been eating pierogi almost every day pretty hilarious).
I truly love my work at CNAS. Currently I'm working on the Natural Security project, in addition to doing some work on a new project about the future of the Iranian state. It keeps me busy, and waking up at 7:15am each morning is something that even I didn't think I was capable of.
I've been taking my camera around with me most everywhere, but it seems like all those classic sites have become just part of the background anymore, and I haven't been all that inspired to snap pictures of them. I have found what I consider the holy grail of DC sites to take a picture of. For a $5 fee, you can take a tour of the gargoyles that perch themselves atop the National Cathedral (which is apparently the 6th largest cathedral in the world). One of the gargoyles was supposedly the result of a contest for school children to design a monster which embodies absolute evil. The result, Darth Vader.
I hope to have some pictures up soon, and some solid updates for you all.
Best wishes.

A new DC post

2010-01-08T21:02:00.002-05:00

Ok, not quite what you might expect, but it is a blog post, and I did write it. Part of my new internship consists of attending local events pertinent to the natural security project. So here you go.

The End Times are Here!

2009-11-18T17:28:00.006-05:00

Not in the sense that you should be listening for trumpeting angels -- be they the traditional churchy ones or the Python rear end trumpeters -- or that you should be watching for a quartet of otherworldly equestrians, but the end times of my educational career at The Ohio State University. After this December I will be an official college graduate and spat out into the real world, which is pretty much the most terrifying thing I can imagine. When your college experience has consisted of hanging out with celebrities, membership in some of the most prestigious University organizations/traditions in the nation, and being sent to Chicago, St. Louis, New Orleans and DC all on the University dime, not to mention building the greatest friendships you've ever had, giving that up in exchange for the working life seems a bit. . . well, undesirable.
This quarter has consisted of the greatest opportunities I've had since coming to college, namely experiencing the depth of tradition at OSU as a member of the 2009 Homecoming Court, and experiencing the bonds of friendship between my fellow members of SPHINX senior class honorary. That being said, it's certainly not a bad way to go out.
While I may be reluctant to head out into that ever menacing "real world" I do feel quite excited at all the prospects which lie before me. The benefit of having such an amazing college career is that those activities and experiences will serve to make sure my first job doesn't consist, at least fully, of gutting fish heads or spit shinning urinals.
Perhaps the position which I am most excited about is a research internship at the Center for a New American Security (CNAS). I first heard about both the internship and the think tank after being paired with my OSU alumni mentor through the John Glenn Washington Academic Internship Program this last Summer, Christine Parthemore. I'm sure most of you recall her, as I've spoken about her or her think tank on a nearly daily occurrence when I return home. I currently am waiting to hear if I made it to the interviews, but I do know that I'm in the top thirty applications out of several hundred.
I've also checked into Teach for America, the Peace Corps, CIA, State Department's Foreign Service (which I am in the process of applying for the examination), and countless others. Most of which would land me in DC, or, in the case of the Peace Corps or Foreign Service, abroad. I found out yesterday that sarcasm is in fact not appreciated the world over, which could prove problematic to my well being should the Saraceno brand of familial and social bonding find its way overseas with me.
I will not inundate you with pictures of homecoming, as I'm sure what Nathan and Stephanie have offered are far beyond what you ever wished to see, but in recognition
of my own dumb luck, I will provide you with both a photo and explanation of my Halloween costume this year, and the extent to which my dumb luck runs. First the photo:

So as you can clearly see, for Halloween I was "thinking Arby's." The costume consisted of a glued together red folder, and a set of headband antlers that I pulled the felt off of, coming to a grand total of $2.03. During Halloween weekend I accompianied other SPHINX members to a local piano bar which happened to be having a costume contest that night. I decided "what the hell," and went on stage for the contest. On stage I stood before a sea of drunken men in a dark bar competing against half naked women, describing themselves as a "sexy (fill in nearly any profession)," and a rather convincing cast of Top Gun. When the pianist asked the crowd to cheer for their favorites, I was shocked that I passed the first round of cuts. Then it was down to me and two other groups, the sexy cops, and Iceman Maverick and Goose. In a completely unexpected turn of events, I won the contest in an absolute landslide. Finding out that investing $2.03 into a cheap, though clever, costume had just earned me $100 cash, and a $50 bar tab (which I have yet to redeem).
Most of my friends assumed the $100 would go to some asinine typical college student purchase, but they were not aware that I had, by that point, been living off PB&J (then out of J and soon to be breadless), Ramen noodles (also nearing their end), and powerbars (which unfortunately was the one of the three I was in good supply of) for over a week. When I learned of my winnings, my first thought was "FOOD!"
Being drunk on the prospects of being able to eat in variety again, I rushed to Giant Eagle, alone. Grocery shopping alone has always been something I try to avoid, as my sense of culinary adventure leads me to purchase, the idiotic. Last time it was a pound of ground buffalo meat. This time it was a bag of 48 pierogies, 8 liters of pop (i was only going to buy one, but you could get three more for $3. I was trapped by the savings), and a gallon of chocolate milk. My legitimate thought process on the latter went as follows.
I shouldn't get a gallon of chocolate milk. It's too expensive. $100 wont buy everything. Plus people will think it's childish to drink chocolate milk. Wait a minute. Screw that. I'm all grown up dammit. No one can tell me what I can and can't buy!
It was at this moment that I triumphantly slammed the gallon jug of chocolatey goodness into my cart and continued on to victory. . . or the self check out isle, one of the two. History dictating that any interaction between me and a "self-checkout" immediately results in profanity and the complete antithesis of victory, as the 15 year old cashier sighs as the machine accuses me of removing items from the belt without giving it fair warning.
All the same, my impending graduation is now a mere three to four weeks away, and nervous as I am, it's been a glorious four and a half years.

Oh yeah, I'm in D.C.

2009-08-10T16:57:00.003-04:00

So, as most all of you know, I will be finshing up my ten week stint in our nations capitol in the next two weeks. These next two weeks will be a count down until I am once again in the Midwest.
While here, I've learned many things: Always stand on the right of an escalator, and walk up on the left. Just how amazing Arnold Palmers are. How to remove everything metal on your body for a security check in less than a minute, while still walking to work. And just how capable I am of wearing a wool suit in 95 degree heat with 100 percent humidity, without complaining (http://www.c-spanarchives.org/library/index.php?main_page=product_video_info&tID=5&src=atom&atom=todays_events.xml&products_id=288136-1).
I do know that I'll miss working for the Congresswoman, but such is life, and I have graduation followed by who knows what new adventure.
The title of this post is an allusion to the fact that between my class, my policy paper, and my job, I have had the unfortunate experience of pretty much forgetting that I'm currently living in the heart of such a beautiful city. I took it upon myself to contact my old Arabic teacher, who is currently going through her PhD program at UCLA, what were the best things to do and see while here, aside from the basic touristy things. With her suggestions in mind, I gathered a group of friends and went below the bridge leading into Georgetown to Jack's Boathouse at 7pm last night. Once there, we embarked on a night kayaking monument tour on the Potomac. I smelled liked river water by the end, which made taking the metro back quite interesting, but it has already become one of my fondest memories from this entire experience.

Out and About in DC

I am looking forward to returning to my Ohio life, only realizing recently that this has been the longest length of time that I have been away from Ohio, but I think D.C. may be some place that I may find myself in again. Granted D.C. has not been the overwhelming cultural paradise that I found L.A. to be, but the way that this city can reach its hands so deep into issues which echo the world over has certainly gained my attention.

Mr.Saraceno Goes To Washington

2009-06-23T22:22:00.003-04:00

It is partly out of unimaginable excitement, and absolute fear that I will be skinned alive by several members of my family if I were to elect to update this blog as infrequently as the past few months, that I write this new post.
Today was the end of the first day of my internship in our nation's capital. As most of you know, I have been accepted into the John Glenn Washington Academic Internship Program (WAIP), which I mentioned in the previous post. It was only last Friday that I found out where exactly I would be interning, a point that had my father parting from any sort of calm demeanor more so than usual, in sort, he no longer had a calm demeanor. I was informed that I had been accepted into the lone open position in the interning staff for Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey of California's 6th Congressional District. After reviewing her sponsorship, and co-sponsorship, on a long list of Bills and House resolutions, not to mention her position on the House Committee on Foreign Affairs, I had been sick to my stomach waiting for the phone call that would tell me whether I had secured the position or not after a thirty minute phone interview on Thursday.
Much of the work I completed today would be exactly what you would expect an intern to do. Answer phones, sort mail, etc. However, unlike most anything I have ever done before, there was a sense that this work, no matter how tasky it might be, was of real importance. This must be one of those "real world" feelings that you get when your work is no longer restricted to positions under an umbrella organization such as a University. This may be the "fervor of the converted" still though. A conversion from the entertainment industry, to the industry of politics. Only time, and further posts on this blog, will tell its truth, I suppose.
I found myself slightly taken aback, which is impressively hard to do any more after 3 years of absurd experiences in OUAB, while during what I imagined to be a simple coffee run for the Congresswoman ended in myself and one other intern standing in front of two very large wooden doors. Through which, I found myself standing in a chambers where a hearing on the new health care reforms were being heard and debated. A meeting which was being recorded for C-Span, or so I was informed by the other intern. A location to which I eagerly returned with a memo immediately after returning to the office.
I've included a number of pictures of my room, and my housing for your mundane veiwing pleasure. I love the location: 223 Constitution Ave. NE. The housing allows me to skip over the need to take any metro to work and simply embark upon a six minute walk.
More to come soon, but seeing as it is Tuesday night, and Wednesday brings with it an 8:30am seminar, as the "Academic" part of the WAIP acronym, I should begin preparing for bed.

Mr. Saraceno Goes To Washington

Before All Is Said And Done

2009-05-31T13:50:00.009-04:00

Well, it has been a third of a year since my last post, it is by my best reasoning that anyone who had checked this site with any degree of frequency has since given up hope, ironically enough "hope" being the central word for the Obama campaign, of which I wrote in the previous post. Back to the topic at hand, I fear that attempting to recap the happenings of the past few months would perhaps be too tedious and long for anyone to read through and provide even the basic courteous "nice post" to any convincing degree, so in the spirit of this truth, I will try to be brief enough, so as not to bore, and long enough, to serve as an apologetic posting for my lack of blog activity.
I suppose the most notable things to have happened in the past few months include what most everyone is already aware of. I was first accepted into the John Glenn Washington Academic Internship Program for the Summer of 2009, which is close to impossible apparently. This program was set up by John Glenn after he saw many of the interns in D.C. having a lack of experience, through no fault of their own, as there simply was no mechanism through which they could pursue valuable experience. In the Internship program, I will intern at any organization or political office I wish, as long as they accept me, four days a week, and one day a week I will attend a seminar on policy writing followed by programs throughout the city. Throughout the summer, I've been charged with writing a policy paper that my internship location will be able to use after I leave at the end of the program. Now, I assume this is where you all would be interested in knowing where I'll be interning. . . apparently in the state of the economy, I can't convince people to let me work for them for free. I'm not too worried though. Is it confidence in my body of experience? Is it insider information? Or perhaps is it the fact that the John Glenn program literally guarantees an internship position? I'm going with the latter. Additionally, through my involvement in the International Studies 65th Anniversary Student Advisory Committee (apparently OSU has the second oldest International Studies Department in the US), the advisor, who has more contacts than the Pope, is talking to everyone she knows so as to make sure I get the best internship to match with the program possible.
The internship acceptance began what was to be the "Year of Dan," as I've so underwhelmingly named 2009. I found out later that as this was the first year the John Glenn program was hosted in the Summer, I was in an applicant pool larger than the sum of the Fall, Winter, and Spring applications combined. Shortly after this news, I found out that I was a top five finalist, though I did not receive it, for the Stanley D. Gottsegen Leadership Award. Gottsegen is one of the highest honors that can be awarded to an OSU student, and carries with it a $1,000 scholarship (though you can spend it however). It's application process takes weeks longer than the other awards and had to be broken down into five finalists who were then interviewed. I remember seeing the four other finalists names, I was up against the PResident and Vice-President of my organization, the President of the Undergraduate Student Government, and the President of a newly formed Multi-Cultural Sorority. I believe my exact words were "I think I'm going to throw up."
Later on in the quarter I was accepted into SPHINX Senior Class Honorary. The induction consisted of a number of current SPHINX members dressed in black cap and gowns barging into my room at 7:00am, while I was still asleep, and screaming "Sphinx Links!" I may have screamed out of fear. . . I definitely was embarrassed. What was amazing though, is that my "link," the member of the 2008-2009 SPHINX class who inducted me specifically, was one of the first friends I ever made at OSU, Vicki Bouttavong. I had lived with her back in Scholars West, and she was also an executive member of OUAB with me. SPHINX, as you might see, is a group that has been active at OSU for just over 100 years, and consists of the top leaders of OSU, or as one of my residents put it, in congratulating me, is made up of people who have "sunlight coming out of their asses." It was made to be one of the most incredible experiences of my life when I saw my Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, and Brother-In-Law stroll across the oval to watch as I was inducted into the 103rd class of SPHINX.
A few short days later, my friend Vicki Bouttavong, as last year's Homecoming Queen, once again abducted me, as she inducted me into the 2009-2010 Ohio State Homecoming Court. This was all a bit overwhelming, to say the least, but certainly made up for the decidedly low key 22nd birthday which I had celebrated, less than a week before, by taking an exam earlier in the day, and working late into the night on a damn near impossible take-home Arabic exam, followed by writing a project proposal for another class.
As a final bit of honor I just recently found out that through my involvement in the International Studies 65th Anniversary Student Advisory Committee, I have been given the honor of carrying the banner for the "Colleges of Arts & Sciences" through the commencement ceremony in Ohio stadium this year. I had been slightly upset that as I would not be graduating "on time" that I would not be able to walk across the stage with those friends which I had grown so close to, so it was an absolute honor for me to be able to participate in the ceremony and literally guide them through it.
Aside from this absurd list of honors, I've also dove into two separate endeavors with a level of casualness that apparently I alone am capable of. Firstly, I added a second minor, so I now will be graduating with a minor in Arabic and Middle Eastern Studies. I was also able to work with the advisor so I will still be graduating in the same amount of time. The second endeavor of mine, only about three days or so before the weekend I jumped into a trip to New Orleans. I had always wanted to go, ever since I missed my chance to go when I did the Katrina rebuild back at Kent State. It was amazing! I also enjoyed seeing many of the places my parents had gone to nearly 33 years ago. Places such as the Dauphine Orleans hotel, and Pat O'Brians, where I had a delicious Hurricane in a souvenir glass, just as my parents had bought. I was decidedly disappointed in the array of "voodoo culture" which may have been better years before, but now was defined by head shops featuring items they had shipped from World Market, and the Vatican. Should you be in the market for a cow hide drum, and candles to Saint Jude (the patron saint of lost causes), I have a fist full of places you can go.
Just a fun fact, we drove the entire 15 hour drive stopping only long enough to fuel up, and stayed in an local hostel. I chose to do this for $80 over flying to Florida, staying in the Sheraton, and getting into Disney World for free. The logic is flawless, I know.
Rather than continue to narrate the weekend, I think it best to simply direct you to the photo album I posted of it. So here:

The Big Easy

Digging Out of an Avalanche

2009-01-23T18:51:00.005-05:00

Well, this quarter, though only a few weeks old, has most certainly carried it's own set of defining moments. It's been full of an incomprehensible amount of new experiences, and opportunities. Some good, others in a clear inverse.

I've found that it sometimes is necessary to look through my iPhoto library in order to remember everything that's happened. This is generally due to a pattern of data dumping as soon as I finish one task, so that I have enough space in my head to concentrate on what's next on my plate. Looking through them I've found that I completely forgot about seeing a Bruce Springstein concert, meeting Zach Braff, my Jimmy Fallon show, and a free day trip to Hocking Hills (where I was put in charge of keeping tabs on fifty-six graduate students for seven hours in the middle of the woods, on what equated to a trip an elementary school would take; replacing the five year olds with twenty-five to thirty year olds).

In the spirit of this quite literal photographic memory, and in utilization of my newly installed 1G RAM ( I was running off of 256MB before. . . which is the same amount that the Nokia tablet has), I've decided to further delve into the Google universe of applications and begin a web-album, only about four years behind everyone else around here. I don't have too many from my experience at the OSU/Michigan game, as the upload process is a little time consuming and tedious (only five pictures at a time), but it was my assumption that people may be decidedly more interested in an event I attended which defines the future of the world, rather than defining just how many couches will be burned in the hours following (OSU is known for it, I have no idea why).

The greater of the two events which I'd be referring to is the historic inauguration of President Barack Obama. Thanks to my position as the Resident Advisor of Ohio State's International House Learning Community, I had been given the opportunity to accompany seven of my residents to D.C. to, as most everyone described it, "bear witness to history."

Just for a quick run through of the trip itself. I was housed in a hotel in Baltimore (Inner Harbor). I visited D.C. on Sunday, where I met with some interns, and former interns of the John Glenn Fellows program, of which I am supremely interested in. As well as attended the star studded Inaugural Concert. On Monday, in the spirit of MLK jr. Day, I volunteered at a Baltimore free store, which provides clothes, furniture, and an array of other needs for low income families free of charge. This was housed in an old wooden warehouse which was every bit as cold inside as it was outside. Then on Tuesday, after going to sleep at 1:00am, I woke up at 2:00am and left for D.C. where I arrived to be shuttled to a drop off point on the highway by one of a collection of nearly 100,000 buses commissioned for the explicit duty of spectator shuttling. It was humorous, and in its own way inspiring, to see any manner of vehicle which could run on four wheels and carry at least 45 people, line up as far as the eye could see, waiting to carry the estimated 2.2 million people that would be attending into the city. This included any public transport, area services, private charter, and even those buses made to appear as a trolley.

The bus dropped us off on the highway a few miles from the national mall, and I do mean it dropped us off ON the highway, which had been shut down to allow the shuttles, National Guard Humvees, and the mind-numbing numbers of undercover cars from the Secret Service/FBI/CIA (or whomever). Ironically these "undercover cars" stuck out more than a socially adjusted female at a comic book convention. All of which being jet black Chevy Suburbans with intensely tinted windows, that would occasionally flip on their red and blue lights which were tucked behind their front grill, and shadowed behind their rear window tint.

Once off the bus I was ushered through the city by National Guard patrols, and large highway signs which read "National Mall This Way." It was a really good experience if you ever wanted to know how all those longhorns felt in any number of old westerns when they were herded by cowboys armed to the teeth, apparently waiting for one of the heard to do something unexpected, like stop.

Once at the mall, at approximately 6:30 or 7:00am, I was greeted by the dawning sun, as all the previous events had been shrouded by the awkwardly long darkness of Winter, oddly no security to speak of, and about half a million other people. Once I had secured my position on the mall, a little less than halfway down away from the Capital Building next the the Smithsonian Castle, I proceeded to stand and be cold for the next four and a half hours.

It was during this time that most everyone around us came into agreeance that "this just wasn't worth it." However, once 11:30am came, and we began to indeed "bear witness to history," I have no doubt that these thoughts had been quelled, as the words echoed across the heart of our nations capital, that a new leader had assumed our most sacred seat, and that perhaps after the long darkness that had shadowed us during this Winter the sun would be rising for a new Spring, which promised to never again give way to our nations Fall, or again to its Winter.

Obama's Inauguration

. . .And We're Back

2008-09-20T13:36:00.006-04:00

So, it seems my ordeal with my computer is finally at an end. As some of you may, or may not, have known, my beloved Mac Mini had decided to turn on me, and seize itself up at the most inopportune moments. The freeze would be accompanied by a rather uninspiring buzz originating from within the confines of the computer itself, which has been, and continues to be, a mystery to me. After about a week of operating off the Nokia Internet tablet (which I once again profess my profound gratitude toward my Uncle Larry and Aunt Martha for allowing me to use this school year), writing e-mails and researching what my Mac's problem might be, I found that the most likely culprit to be a faulty hard drive. Now my experience with the inner workings of computers has long been defined by my first attempt to insert a CD into my Uncle's desktop. At which point I proceeded to push the disc into the 5.25" floppy drive, perhaps not a good omen for any successful history in computer technologies. So I thought it best to forgo the chance to replace the hard drive myself, and cough up the $36 to have someone who actually knows what they're doing do it. Especially when the best advice I received on how to open the Mini was to employ either a putty knife or thin spatula.
To shorten what could surely prove to be a less than riveting recounting of a week long process, I'll provided this paraphrased version of what was then to come. I took multiple trips to Micro Center, and found their services, though helpful, extremely expensive. I bought a 500G LaCie external hard drive, which I'm relatively certain I'm not using to its full potential, as I dumped all my documents, pictures, and music onto before replacing the internal hard drive, only to re transfer them onto the new internal model. I replaced the original 40G internal hard drive with a new 160G one, it was the smallest size, thus most inexpensive model, they carried. This all totaling to around $225, minus the gas spent driving back and forth. Needless to say I had adopted a bit of a salty demeanor discovering the extent of the charges I would need to front. Mostly after I received the "recommendations" from one of the service members of Micro Center, which would have amassed a total bill to around $400, just a cool $100 shy of a new Mini. Anyone familiar with my stance on spending money, ever, coupled with my disdain for salespersons who seek to increase their sales numbers by pushing products or services on people who neither need nor can afford them, would then expect my attitude to take a less than delightful turn. All has been worked through, and I now am posting to you on my fully operational Mac. I do regret that I now have to reset many small preferences, which I had taken for granted before, but a working Mac is, by far, preferable to a customized broken one.
Well, in other news I've now been at Ohio State for about two full weeks, and have settled in quite nicely. I am hopeful that the chance acquisition of a ticket to see The Mars Volta, one of the few bands I know enough about to talk about on more than a base, "yeah, I like that song," level, will serve as a sign of good things to come. I nearly hawked the ticket to a scalper outside the venue, as I had to skipped a staff dinner, and would be attending the show by myself, also figuring I would be at a notably distant point from the stage, seeing that I arrived after doors had opened for new ticket holders (the band had come two previous times and cancelled both times, so all those who had tickets to either of those shows were allowed in earlier). While inside I took up a spot about 3/4 away from the stage, near the back of the "pit," or the open area where you are forced to stand in exchange for a closer position to the stage. While waiting I was able to validate what was described as a rather mundane lifestyle in middle school, as I witnessed near carbon copies of my adolescent nemesises, not four feet away, discussing amongst themselves just how cool they were. The average age sitting somewhere around fifteen. These self-assured badasses found security in their coolness as one recounted how he "gets mistaken for a sophomore in college all the time," to which I would generally let out a rather deafening "bull shit." The kid came equipped with moshing gloves, or what I imagine he thought them to be. Leather gloves with the fingers and knuckles cut out. He then proudly announced his distinguished history in concert attendance: Puddle of Mudd, Green Day. . . about 14 times, Seether, Papa Roach, and so on. For those unfamiliar with these bands, I would tend to label most of them as a "guilty pleasure," at best. Ones that you do anything but announce to the world that you paid money to see. But perhaps I am being a tad too harsh on the boy, as he seemed to be the only one who passed on the orange Sharpie which his other cronies found great pleasure in jamming up their nose, and sniffing to their hearts content.
Getting back to the concert itself, I was able to distance myself from the teen squad, a bonus as the six or so of them found immense joy in trying to start a mosh, or in other words a "kick the shit out of each other fest," that none of the actual sophomores in college seemed to join in on. . . huh, odd. By about halfway through the show I had made my way, via what I call the ratchet effect, to the second row, dead center of the stage, where I stayed for the remainder of the performance. The ratchet effect consists of allowing the inevitable tidal push of the sea of people behind you to advance you forward, but firmly standing your ground when the tide retreats. The concert was amazing, and lasted a solid two hours and fifteen minutes, without break or opening act. I don't believe I've enjoyed a concert so much before.
Well, as the dull roar of the stadium leaks into my room through my open window, I'm reminded that there's a whole world outside, and I should be getting back to it. So until next time. . .

Here, There, and Everywhere

2008-07-20T03:14:00.006-04:00

Well, it has certainly been awhile since my last post, placing me once again in the hypocritical spotlight, as I mentally accost those who update infrequently on their own blogs, all the while ignoring my own irregular tendencies. Seeing as I still was at OSU the last time I posted, that would place this post around a month and a half later. And seeing as, due to the absurd nature of events that tend to define my life, which make any given day capable of filling several chapters in the yet unpublished and unwritten "Life of Dan," which, due to lack of willingness to obstruct my nap schedule, I tend to imagine will never be written (fear not, I never really intended that I or anyone else should undertake this endeavor), it stands to reason then that I've had much to write about, much time to write it, and no fruits of these two qualifying conditions, which, when paired with my outward critiques, culminate in my own aforementioned hypocrisy.
The first few weeks of this summer had been employed as semi-relaxation periods, in which I continued to do my work with OUAB, and further increase my stress levels, but beyond this, not much was accomplished, which seems to scream a negation of my "everyday shit happens" statement made a few short sentences ago, though in far more graceful vocabulary, but seeing as I'd rather speak in mild hyperbolas than even lengthier footnoted exceptions, I'll continue to let things like this slide, which means you probably should as well, as I don't intend on changing that fact in this format anytime soon, and your failing to relax on this issue may lead to your suffering any number of mildly serious stress induced disorders from keeping track of these minor inconsistencies. Continuing on, much of this time frame was spent meeting up with old friends, sleeping away most all, if not very much all, of the morning hours, and lounging around the house.
While this Labowski-esque lifestyle would, in theory, or perhaps more accurately, cinematicaly, have no repercussions on the psyche, I did in fact become distinctly bored, and found myself referring to me, more and more often, as a "waste of space." Not to say that the first few days didn't hear me utter those words about myself, but the sincerity of such statements were never really present until the latter part of those two weeks. It may be at this point that the, "what will be,will be," mantra rung true. Which, if I'm not mistaken, I referred to previously in a post, as I lamented my lack of acceptance into multiple internship programs.
After speaking one night with my Aunt Martha and Uncle Larry, I learned about Akron, Ohio's International Institute, which served to better the lives of refugees in the Akron area. Working with refugees had been something I looked at doing in Columbus, but seeing as it was a volunteer position there, just as here, and I would have to pay for food and housing along with untold other expenses, not featured here, I decided against the Columbus venture.
After an application, and short interview had been fulfilled, I began work at the institute teaching English to refugees from Burma, Nepal, and a number of other areas. Though teaching to read, write and speak English to around forty people whom, at any given time, a significant number of which are illiterate in their native language, and an overwhelming majority know absolutely no English, by using nothing but English, has been the gravest test of my commitment, fortitude, and speaking skills (Which tend to be implemented most often for speeches at University conventions, or grant proposals. Carrying with it, a lexicon which, though I attempted to avoid my first day, led to the ultimate confusion of just about everyone), I've never been so happy or proud of what I am doing. Damn fate!
I would tend to argue, however, that much of my communicational difficulties suffered that first day, had more to due with the fact that I was prepared to teach a small group of "level 3" students, who already can speak English semi-fluently, and work on more sophisticated vocab, and grammar structures, which is the level I had been told I would initially be assisting to teach, only at the last minute to be traded like a cheap deck of cards. After getting a rather jarring feel for how I would need to restructure my approaches, and moving to an even larger class, things have becoming increasingly more progressive and enjoyable.
In other news: Just this past weekend, I made a trip back down to Ohio State, leaving Thursday night and returning around 2pm on Saturday. What struck me immediately was just how empty campus had become. At 10:30pm, a time relatively early into the evening during any other academic quarter (lending reasoning to why its streets would normally be considerably populated by students and whomever else), I would see only one, maybe two people at best, at any given time. That night I watched the midnight release of "Batman: the dark knight," which, though long (2.5 hours), was quite phenomenal. I then returned to my friends house, where I would be staying for the next two nights, to find his neighbor's house broken into (while the houses occupants were there and awake), along with a cacophony of police cruisers. Much of this stay, which reminded me just how odd my life can be, consisted of some minor administrative meetings, and a few catching up moments with old friends. Though the parallels are quite possibly outweighed by a few notable exceptions, walking around that empty campus, during the day as well, I was reminded of when someone who declares "High School was the best four years of my life!" (footnote: no way in hell do I consider myself one of those people), returns to the halls of their Alma Mater over the summer to finish some pre-college/post-graduation paper work, and there is nothing but the cold lockers, muggy uncirculated air, and the distant hum of a floor buffer being run by that janitor that you never really did figure out the gender of.
I do wish I was able to visit the Steidl Forest Pow-Wow, by no means did any members of the Steidl family refer to their "cabin" adventure by this title, but due to some confusion on times with people at OSU, I was continually unsure of what times I had free, and what times I had to be back, which made the hour drive impractical by the time things were sorted out at 7:30pm on Friday.
Well, seeing as it is now 4:15 am and I'm starting to take naps while continuing to write, I feel that my best option is to cut things off here, rather than risk a serious head collision with the keyboard and table, or in the least providing a string of inane accounts, well decidedly more inane accounts than usual. Until my next fit of hypocrisy. . .

Metaphorically Banging My Head Against The Wall

2008-06-04T01:24:00.004-04:00

So my junior year at Ohio State is coming to a close. I've been done with my exams since Monday now, so I'm pretty much just sitting around, checking residents out of their rooms, and distracting other unfortunate souls who still have exams to study for. I seem to be finishing the year pretty strong, as it stands now A-, A-, B+, A; but I have this nice awkward feeling that, even though the grades would beg to differ, I haven't really learned too much of anything this quarter, other than how to swing some decent grades without really applying myself.
I think that I may be done with my one quarter stint as a Communication major, which is very comforting news when you're going into your senior year. I've been looking into why I liked Anthropology, and what had attracted me to Communication, as well as my lamenting not being a Business major at such a prestigious Business school, when they seem to be opening their doors to me a bit too late. Basically it has boiled down to, or at least for time's sake, a few key points. Anthropology: I love cultures, and actually found my last course, which dealt with the globalization of capitalism in the developing world, to be a redeemer for a major which has jaded me with the cranial capacities, "interesting" features, and time frame of about twenty five hominids (aka cavemen/monkeys). Communication: I love what I do in OUAB, and was looking at a career of it, but a few things came into play. Firstly, I'm not actually helping anyone, which sucks. Secondly, apparently the Communication school at OSU is considered, by in large, laughable by people even in the major. Spending so much time and money at a school like OSU, I would at least hope to emerge with a degree that carries some extra weight to it. Finally, I'm not all that interested in Communicational studies. In the broad sense, I am, but acutely speaking, I'm much more interested in interaction itself, rather than the theories there of. Business: My interest in a Business major stem from two things. 1: I like achieving things that accompany respect (Fisher College of Business is 12th in the nation), I'm an attention whore, but we already knew this. 2: I actually like the business side of what I do for OUAB. I'll lay out numbers to figure out the best price per capita cost for an event, my own or others.
So where does this leave me? Hell if I know. There is a major called "World Economy and Business," which blends studies in the College of Business, such as "Feast or Famine: the global business of food," and "International Marketing," with International Studies. The nice thing is that it is still under the College of Arts and Sciences, my present college, so the General Education Courses should, key word "should," be the same. Calculating out, I'll be here one extra quarter, but that's better than a full victory lap ("victory lap": due to an increasing number of college students requiring a fifth year to complete their degree program, rather than the traditional four, the term "victory lap" has been assigned to their fifth year. This is in reference to circuit races where the winning driver, after completing course laps of the given race, takes an addition lap around the circuit in a show of victory, generally to applaud and fanfare.).
Switching topics. What is interesting about the summer, which now is rushing head on light a freight train, is that their is a great sense of urgency and Big Lebowski "dude-ism" to it. I want in the worst way to start getting ready for this "real world" I'm supposed to be working in soon, so the will to find a bankable internship or experience is getting to me, to say the least, while at the same time, I like the idea of being free to move around a bit. There had been plans mentioned to visit a friend studying in Spain, with a stop in the UK, where another friend of mine from Kent lives, and had offered me a place to stay if I visited. I also would love to make a second trip to LA, which I still talk to people about. Be quite assured however, the Catch 22 of this situation is not lost on me: I need a job to get money and afford any excursion, as well as this Ohio State education, but I need free time too, in which to make such trips. I think it is the even more domineering thought of graduation, which has me scrambling to travel while I can. All I have heard, again and again, is "Travel while you're in college. You'll never have the time, money, or ability to do it again. The real world (there that term is again) takes too much from you to allow these kind of things." But I can barely afford this "pseudo-world" as is, and taking a break like that would, for lack of a better term, kill me financially.
Granted there's always the go to, return to Water Works, but I like being a man of my word, and when I announced, "There's no way in hell I'm coming back next year," I'd like to stay true to that. Especially after my declaration was met with the almost cliched response of "You'll be back." It would seem, however, that my options are disappearing quickly, as spots have been filled long ago for many internships, and my experiences wont carry me as far as I thought. Now must decide between resume building volunteer positions, or pittance paying odd jobs, such as the bakery, which doesn't really do much of anything for me professionally speaking. I suppose I'll figure out these details in due time, I always do, or perhaps time always seems to decide for me.

Fear And Loathing In Columbus

2008-05-22T01:25:00.002-04:00

Granted I've never seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, yet the two terms tend to string themselves together in a manner that so well exemplifies my present thoughts on, well everything right now, I felt it necessary to utilize the reference. After submitting a cacophony of resumes and cover letters to pretty much any company stretching from New York City to LA, or least those companies that I have at least an iota of interest in, and receiving either rejection notices, or refusal to answer/return calls, I've become a little frustrated, to say the least. I've seen my abilities and responsibilities grow, only to have them drop to nothing as I inch closer and closer to returning to that cement hell that has become my past four summers. Where all that University knowledge and expertise has culminated into my fishing some kid's shit out of the water for $7.50/hr. Though a job is a job, as I have proven my commitment to in taking some of the worst side careers in exchange for some extra dough, I feel it is time that I start getting something to put on a resume that actually invokes some level of respect. Not to say I'm against getting a killer tan in a week, as I make jokes about the blondies lathering up with oil to try to catch up. I feel like, "proven genetics, which allow to tan to what people consider another race" is far less lucrative than one might initially think, when bulleted on a resume. So some sort of real world experience, aside from what I do in OUAB, might be of benefit. I suppose I'm more or less just frustrated that no matter how hard I work, and how much I do, it never seems enough to secure the positions I apply for: Google, Homecoming Court, Sphinx Senior Class Honorary, Live Nation. . .
I tossed around the idea of an internship abroad for the summer, only to remember that I do not have a passport, which is necessary even if I just wanted to take a trip to hang out with the McKenzie brothers anymore.
Match this dread of, what should be, the best part of the year, with mounting responsibilities in OUAB, as Colbert declined our original offer; which is still salvageable, provided I manage to coordinate a near unprecedented event schedule, and can convince several people of some workable conditions, both in and outside of OSU. This has me a little worried, as I've increasingly begun to doubt my skills in persuasion, due to several recent failed attempts.
Also take into consideration that I, once more, am doubting my present major, as person after person states the abysmal level of my new major program. And to sprinkle some extra spice onto things, consider that my present job, quite literally, makes going home the equivalent of going to work, as well as a fried brain, academically speaking, which knows that it needs to work even harder if it's going to get above a 3.45 in order to beat out that other guy who keeps kicking my ass for jobs.
Roll all this together, and what do you have? A stress level that has ceased to allow me to function as a human being anymore.
The slight light at the end of the tunnel is that I will no longer have to work on my academics over the summer, though the lack of a bankable occupation, and continuing OUAB dealings will still make it their job to turn the light into a freight train.
Recently I've been looking towards finding a intern position in some sort of research, or even as a volunteer to help teach English to refugees, which would admittedly be amazing. I've been continually telling myself that "what was meant to be will be," which has proven surprisingly accurate thus far, yet honestly, the whole "fate twists events like a cloth between its fingers" bullshit is getting a little old right now.
I did have a bit of a revelation last Friday however, which has given me just enough pride to carry on through, when I was working the Flight of the Conchords show. I was standing on the restricted side of the stage barricade, watching the show, next to the stage, with Flight's agent, and about three other people. I looked out at the 7,000 or so that filled the lower bowl, and thought about how none of them had the privilege I had at that moment, how I was given special right to stand where I was standing, due to the work I had done in the best University programming board in the nation (I'm not being all conceded on that last point, we actually were titled that in 2007). Even other OUAB members could not stand where I was at that moment. It was an amazing feeling.
Well it has become late, and I have things to do, namely sleep, so I will leave you on this high note (and with this picture), after a long detailing of the anatomy of my stress.

Shaking Hands With Indisputable Power

2008-04-27T02:31:00.004-04:00

This is a picture of me and Frank Lucas, not the picture I spoke of earlier, which he specifically asked me to join him in, but was one of the "cut and paste" photo ops. By "cut and paste" I mean, the talent stands in one place, as one person after the other saunters up, tries to make some memorable quip of a remark, puts on a goofy ass smile that they think looks natural enough for people to mistake them as friends with *insert name here* and walks away, repeat this process about twenty times. Either way, this is the only picture I have, I did not give any contact info to the, once more I'm at a loss for a correct word, fan who took the other picture.

You Can Call Me "Curly"

2008-04-15T22:05:00.004-04:00

So Yesterday (Monday that is), I was afforded the chance to work a show with the most notorious heroin dealer of all time, Frank Lucas. If the name doesn't ring a bell, he is the true life figure behind the film American Gangster, being played by Denzel Washington. Lucas was brought to OSU as a featured lecturer through OUAB. Now I know this is already an iffy topic with, well mostly everyone. I'm not blind to the fact that Hollywood has succeeded in popularizing and celebrating another criminal figure. One could argue that this has been done with Al Capone, as well as Don Corleone, from the Godfather series, but there is something very distinctly different here. Firstly, Don Corleone was never real, so we can forgive him any assassinations and dirty dealings, though the movie and book make note that he refused to deal in drugs, perhaps giving this fictional character, who is in no need of defending, some decency. Secondly, Al Capone was never a figure that would be allowed to step into a public University, and even if he had, certainly not to a room filled at least one-hundred people past capacity, all cheering, and asking to meet him. At least not back then. Capone does, if nothing else, seem to lay the foundation for a welcomed criminal celebrity. Given a different manner of portrayal, perhaps not Denzel, or perhaps not with the massive response from the Hip Hop Community, pulling famously retired rapper Jay-Z back into recording under Frank Lucas' fame, maybe the public would have held a very different response to his arrival. That being said, it is worthwhile to note that Lucas has since renounced his past doings, named crooked cops to be imprisoned, and started a foundation under the tag line "Get Grades, Not Drugs, Not Guns."
While working the event, I was asked to be the green room guard, along with another OUAB member. I tend to think that we were chosen simply due to our height, as me being intimidating is almost completely laughable. The man I saw before me, the one from all the pictures we had posted around campus, the strong domineering figure portrayed on the silver screen, had now been reduced to a wheelchair, with limited use of his hands. No matter the person, I find it saddening to see such a reversal of existence. See also: Uncle Pauly, Samson, or Jurgis. I began talking to him strictly for business sake. We needed some DVDs and pictures signed, so I asked him if he wouldn't mind, as well as helping him with the pictures and pens. I didn't know what to say, not for a lack of knowledge of what place in history he held, I was acutely aware of his past, more for a lack of certainty. Though I had never seen American Gangster, I did know of the famous scene with the $25,000 alpaca rug which was stained with blood. We didn't speak much to each other, I explained he could stop whenever, and very little beyond that. After a bit, I mentioned that some people wanted to know if he had in fact told a butler, "That's $25,000 alpaca! You blot that shit!" as the man tried to remove the recent blood stain from a man Frank had shot. Frank laughed and told me that had really happened. He asked a man who never left his side named Ruben, I apologize if I should know their relationship, if he too was there, which Ruben nodding his head agreed to the affirmative. Frank then continued to inform me that that particular rug was $25,000 back in 1968, working with inflation it would be about $200,000 now. Either way, it's one hell of a rug. Seeing me laughing about the image of such a scene, he then continued on to tell me that he sincerely regretted that moment everyday, but he had done it, there is nothing that he could do now. He stated that that is how to live one's life. Do not lull on what has already happened, for you cannot change that, but rather look at what you can do now to fix it. This coming from a man whose net worth in a heroine smuggling ring in the 1960's grossed to one billion dollars.
After awhile, I began to talk with Lucas more and more. A man who first came off very business like, and intimidating proved to be extremely sociable and kind. He spoke so highly of his young son of 10, who earned straight A's. He would call to the janitorial staff to come and have a talk with him. After a while Frank began to call me Curly, not the most fitting name perhaps, but I was obliged to take to it. He asked me what I was studying, and introduced me to a man who remained unnamed though certainly not unintimidating, as he recommended that I look into working for the government. We continued to talk, and no matter what I would speak of, be it school work, or High School Swim Team, he would ask me why I was not the best, with a little laugh, but with a tone that indicated a true level of seriousness. After resting from a run to the nearest food stop to retrieve some coffee for Lucas, someone who was in the back room, a random fan, "fan" is not the right word but it works, who was already back there when I arrived, asked Frank if he could have a picture of him alone. Frank wheeled up next to the couch I was sitting on and said "Curly, get in this picture" I responded "I don't think they want a picture of me Sir" to which he added "I don't care, I want a picture with you" I didn't quite realize how unique that was until later, when people were enamored by that specific aspect of my back room experience.
There's a lot more, but it gets too dull to write, or perhaps I just lack the will to word it well enough. The lecture itself was well done. The entire format consisting of Q&A with an OUAB executive member. During the audience Q&A, things began to get a little ridiculous as people began to ask favors and for special meetings, followed by a bum-rush onto the stage, with me alone holding back, quite uselessly, the oncoming sea of people, with the proverbial broom.
An interesting part of the night was when an audience member asked if he had in fact shot and killed a man on the street as was portrayed in American Gangster. Lucas then proceeded to inform the questioner that there was no statute of limitations on murder, thus if you murdered a man 100 years ago you may still be tried and convicted of it. He then ended his comment with, "and that's all I have to say about that." This left the audience in an uproar of laughter. It's not quite Colosseum scale, cheers for murder, but it's warranted enough to make mention of, I think.
It was strange how excited I was after the event was over and Frank said good bye. I can't even remember how many people I told about it. What was sobering though was the call I made the next day to my Father. A man who is generally as giddy as me, toned down certainly, but the key notes in his voice are always there. I told him about who I met, and the nickname, and so many more things I didn't have time to mention here. And all of these were met with "yup. . . mmm-hmmm. . . alright." I immediately thought of when I was about 13 years old asking if I could have a 1:12 scale replica of Al Capone's mob car, to which my father would answer "He's a criminal!" Capone seeming more like an iconic celebrity than a murdering "drug" lord (alcohol counted back then). Perhaps Capone and Lucas are not so different.
I cannot say I did not find Frank Lucas to be a good man in the time that I knew him, but my opinion of a few hours is perhaps negligible when compared to history's.

"Someday You Will Find Me Caught Beneath The Landslide. . ."

2008-04-09T11:44:00.005-04:00

Well, it has been a little bit since my last post, certainly less than the previous lapse though. As you may have noticed, I've changed things a bit, the Kittinger photo being the most obvious. Kittinger was the true first man in space. Before Armstrong or Gagarin made their famous voyage, this guy was strapped to a weather balloon, with the first space suit (which failed to seal around his hand) and floated into legal space (106,000 feet). He then was given the lofty task of jumping from his wicker basket and parachuting back to earth. On the decent he broke the speed of sound, before hitting the denser atmosphere below and slowing down. I don't know why, but I always have found his story fascinating, and a little emblematic. During the three hour ascent he surely must have begun to consider his little basket a safe haven, and then he had to leap from it into an unknown void. The point being, he would have died had he remained in the basket, which he felt to be protective, floating off into the dead depths of space. Reguardless, the picture above is a shot of him falling back to earth, taken from a camera mounted to the bottom of the basket.
As the post title may indicate, I've been a bit overwhelmed lately. Just a side note to that; it is quoted correctly, as it is not a feeble attempt to pick out Stevie Nicks lyrics from "Landslide," as it's from "Champaign Supernova" by Oasis.
Much of the stress has been due in large part to my intent focus on the future, and general ignoring of the now, at least when it comes to academics. This has gotten exponentially worse after I decided to finally change my major to Communication only last week. After nearly three full years as an Anthropology major I have to start all over again. All of the Gen Ed classes remain the same, as Anthro and Comm are in the same college, but I still have to do some catching up if I expect to get out of here in any sort of timely manner. As of now, If I take four classes for three quarters, I've come rather accustomed to three at a time, I can graduate, sans minor, in only one extra quarter. Not my favorite option, but figuring in that I transfered, and switched majors late, that's not all that bad.
While talking to my adviser, she thought that I should check out Fisher College of Business, currently ranked fifth among public Universities and twelfth overall in the nation. Fisher is notorious for rejecting applicants. It runs through a two application system. First you apply to be a general business student, but in order to graduate you will have to specialize. My adviser suggested Marketing. In order to specialize you will have to apply yet again. Many students will remain in a "Pre-Business" stage, as they can not even make it into the college their firsr few years, if and when they then manage to, generally as a sophomore or junior, they are then stuck in the limbo-esque stage of General Business applying frantically to become a fully specialized major. This is generally achieved just before or within their Senior year. Then they only have around four to six classes to go.
The reason for me mentioning all this is that while I visited one of the Fisher College advisers, I was told that I could basically skip this entire process and become a fully specialized Business major practically that day if I chose. He sat with my grades, both those earned at Ohio State and Kent, and went on and on about my ability to succeed. As he walked me through what would be necessary to graduate I found that I would have to take four courses at a time through Winter of 2010. A workload that I wasn't entirely keen on, especially figuring the course-work I would be covering: accounting, economics, etc. Which as far as I've gathered from other Business majors, are veritable soul eaters. While it was extremely flattering to hear these special opportunities I'd be afforded, I know I would be extremely unhappy doing this, and decided to let it pass, though grateful for the offer.
It might also be worth noting that my ADD had gotten the best of me just discussing Business Marketing, not exactly the best sign for a future in the major. While the man was feeding me his string of praise, I amused myself with the lyrics to a song "Paper Planes" by the next music talent OUAB is bringing, MIA: "All I want to do is *gun-shot* (x4), and a *gun-hammer cock* *cash drawer* and take your money." Complete with hand gestures under his desk. This kinda sounds like I've taken to gangsta rap, which I do have a found spot for TuPac and Nororious BIG, but I find this song extremely infectious in that its course lyrics are set to an uplifting pop beat and are sung by a very beautiful, very small, British-Shrilankin girl who dresses as if it is 1993.
Bringing things back to the statement that I'm getting caught beneath a torrent of stress and work. . . This might be due in part also to my fears that I will be returning for a fifth year to Water Works as a lifeguard for my summer employment. As some of you may have heard, I did not receive the position at Google that I was so very excited about. I was pretty down about that for awhile, but have since tried to push for more. There is a position in Seattle which I have applied for, but seeing as I know absolutely no one out there, makes it a bit of a jump from a wicker basket (nice full circle momment if you ask me). A friend of mine mentioned that she has family out there which I might be able to rent a room from, which could make things a whole lot less stressful. This is an internship with LiveNation, which puts on the concerts at the House of Blues venues, along with most of the other major venues I've heard of. The position is in Corporate Sponsorship/Sales, and sounded pretty interesting, so I hope to see something come of it. I was contacted a short while ago for some basic information: can I get college credit (since it's unpaid I will need to get this, which I can), and did I have any plans to go to Seattle (Which I said my plans are to go wherever I get an internship). I'll keep you up-to-date on this. There are several more I would like to apply for, but which require a cover letter. As I have never written one, I want to make a stop at career services to get some help first, before trying to butcher one out myself.
Well, seeing as a general lack of sleep may also be a decent contributer to my stress levels, I'm going to take a quick nap, before going off to the first of two meetings today. Huzzah!

A Short Recap Of A Long Period Of Time

2008-03-25T16:12:00.010-04:00

Hypocrisy is an astounding thing. I sat just moments ago, being a bit judgmental that I had not seen any new blog postings from my family, only to realize that I in fact have been the most lax in the posting department. So first allow me to apologize for some bitter assumptions you were never even aware of, and then further continue with what I have been up to since January, as that was my last posting.
On the more vain part of things, I worked a Will Ferrel show, put on by OUAB of course. Most of my job consisted of sitting in the front row as a seat warmer for an unnamed VIP, which never actually showed. While the show was funny, there was not too much to comment about, perhaps this is due to distance in time, for which I apologize, as my retelling of the night might certainly have been more interesting had I written this sooner. Or perhaps my lack luster retelling is due more in part to my more recent experience as shows have begun to lose their overwhellmingness that they once possessed. In either case, I will end it at, I met him for about two minutes in a room with about twenty other people, and he seemed nice enough.

A far more interesting topic, I suppose, would be my trip to St. Louis. For those of you who had not heard, I had applied to attend the NACA (National Association for Campus Activities) national conference in St. Louis, through OUAB. The organization would then select up to five members to attend and pay for their airplane tickets and hotel. As one can assume, considering I said "my trip to St. Louis," I was selected. There arose a problem, however, when the demographics of those selected had been considered. I was the only guy out of the four other members and the advisor. I had been told that they could not ask the girls to stay in a room with me, and could not justify spending the money on a room for myself. After stating that I had a strong wish to attend no matter the circumstances, I was then able to stay in a room, on a cot, with some friends of the graduate advisor from The University of Georgia. This worked out quite well, and I became good friends with my roommates and the people from their programming board. Beyond that, the hotel in which I stayed, Regency Grand, was also decidedly for affluent in its accommodations than the Holiday Inn Select which is where the rest of the OUAB crew stayed.
At the conference itself, I was able to meet talent and celebrities from most any field and recent generation imaginable, all looking to be booked by any one of the hundreds of universities attending. From Mr. Belding (Saved by the Bell), to Phil Varone (drummer for Skid Row). The more interesting of meetings would certainly have to be Daryl McDaniels, or DMC from Run DMC. I got decidedly quite nervous, as has only happened once before: the night I met Kat Von D. I started off explaining what an honor it was to meet him, and called him "Sir" just shy of twenty times or so. In whatever case it was to a number I can not be certain of, but still to a point where neither I, nor Mr. McDaniels, were totally comfortable with. He was quite kind however, and the speech he delivered prior to me meeting him, over the history of hip-hop, was quite well done. It is unfortunate I might add, that his line had been greatly diminished by people wishing to relive their middle school days by rushing to see Lance Bass, former N'Sync singer. The rush was so great that the fifteen foot wide cardboard archway into the meet and greet area was strained to contain the mass which moved beneath it. Perhaps more positively it allowed me to meet McDaniels without too much wait, as I was third in line.
Academically I had become very strained that quarter, due in large part to the trip, which consumed five days, three of which were school days. I ended up with two A-'s and one B+ in Arabic, which I feel lucky to have received.

Beyond all this, the most exciting thing that has happened since my last post, has been my trip to Los Angeles. A trip which I can safely assume most all of you are aware of, as you are either a direct relative of mine, or I've mentioned it to you on far too many occasions. Though the trip was long (two and a half hours to Atlanta with a two hour lay over, followed by a four and a half hour flight into LAX), it was by and large the best trip I have taken to date. I of course insisted that we see the Pacific Ocean, which I had never seen before, and only the fifth time I had ever seen any ocean, and we did so many other touristy things. Above all, seeing Jeff, Anna Marie, and Sebastian (whom I quietly referred to as Sea-Bass only once) was overwhelming. It's a little humorous I suppose in that I can translate the simplest of thoughts into a page long narration, yet I still cant quite convey how much I enjoyed that week, so I think I'll just leave it at that.

Happiness Is A Warm Blog

2008-01-23T22:39:00.000-05:00

Things have been a little slow around here, in the sense that nothing eventful has come up. I'm quite possibly the busiest I've ever been, and I've been trying to actually study and not bullshit my way through things, which has been a practice of mine for some time now. This is due to an epiphany realized only after I witnessed the sincere disdain my Cultural Conflict professor retained after receiving a stack of reading quizzes, many brimming with the ripe smell of ambiguous vagueness, that is a hallmark of the common bull shit. He quite blatantly put it that he would much rather receive a paper stating that the student had not done the readings than one trying to convince him otherwise, which he saw as an insult to his own intelligence. Fortunate for me, I had in-fact done the readings. I intend on doing so for the most part, let's be realistic here, of this quarter.
Arabic has become increasingly difficult, and it culminated in a mental breakdown today during a quiz. I could not concentrate, and I could not even make sense of simple words that I know I had heard before. I scheduled a meeting with my professor before class tomorrow so as to get some extra help, as there is pretty much no turning back, language-wise, now, plus I really do enjoy the language and I want to be good at it. By the way Uncle Larry, "Until the blind squirrels. . ." it's not exactly grammatically correct, but close. My stats class is not even registering as far as my academic concerns go. I was afraid after reading reviews on the difficulty level of the course, I am already 1/3 through it, and I still have yet to feel challenged at all. This may be due in large part to my hellacious times with Math 151 and 152, which saw me spending every waking hour studying for even the daily homework assignments.
OUAB is continuing to go well. I will soon be applying to serve as an executive member of the organization, and be more directly involved with talent and venues. This will hopefully be huge on a resume if I do end up selling my soul to the entertainment media monster in exchange for a salary. Tonight was the first event of the quarter that I've worked. It was a lecture on business, as best as I can gather, from Drew, the creator of Toothpaste For Dinner, and Married To The Sea. This is a picture with me and his wife, Natalie Dee. I was really happy to see just how nice they were. Before the picture was taken I was actually not incredibly awkwardly hugging the two of them. I was standing to the side as they hugged each other, and it was said that I was being awkward being by myself. Looking back, my original position was probably the better of the two stances to be taken.

I have been going to every free event possible, since they're free and I dont feel like spending money to be entertained; one of the last being a free showing of "Across the Universe." It was a movie musical based on The Beatles' music, which I will admit that I actually really enjoyed, though I continue to get incredible amounts of flack for this. I even found The Beatles to hold the monopoly on needle time with my turntable for a good few days after the movie. It seems to be a situation with extremes, a person either loved it or hated it, but I have tended not to find any voices in the wasteland between. Most people complain about the LSD trip scenes, which was done in the typical 70s fashion (e.g. color shifts, photo negative effects, and sped up footage) which I found more to be an homage than a true attempt at drug experience representation, or the poor plot development in some parts of the story. I found neither to be all that intrusive in the experience as a whole. Yes, some ends were left a little untied, but hey A: that's life, and B: not every movie has to be an epic, you are allowed to enjoy films of a simpler caliber from time to time.
The RA job has been going. . . it's going. I have had a few program plans running now, the first was a discussion on the Irish in America, inspired by my still, as of yet, unfinished summer reading "How the Irish Became White" by Noel Ignatiev. The program would be augmented by taking 14 residents to a Irish rock concert. With only about two names to pull from out of that category, which people would recognize at least, I chose Flogging Molly since they would be playing in Columbus soon. I ran into considerable trouble finding a professor who possessed any proficient knowledge on the subject, it was then that I switched it to a program on the punk sub-culture, and the stigmas against it. I ended up securing a speaker for both program ideas, and getting approved for the $150 ticket price tag, only to have the ticket office sell off the tickets I had reserved. And such is life. There are other programs I have going, a trip to a tattoo parlor for a discussion on Body Modification, arraignments to attend the Arnold Classic body building competition in Columbus. . . that's about all I've got actually. But I'll think of something else. I also was able to secure $320 for 20 foreign films for the front desk, to be checked out by any resident in my building. OSU tends to operate on a policy of, "You buy it then we'll pay you back," but with tuition due, I dont have the cash to back that up, so I'm going to get a hold of the university credit card which has NO LIMIT! Its a very fun thing to hold, in the purely materialistic capitalist sense of enjoyment, which though I often criticize, I surely subscribe to.
Well, yeah that's about it. . . bye.

I Disgust Myself Sometimes

2008-01-07T18:41:00.000-05:00

I just thought I'd make a little note about the great amount of hypocrisy I just recently realized I'm capable of, considering my hatred of all things of a pop culture nature, at least when it comes to what one savvy in such circles would construe as "news," e.g. Brittany Spears' sister getting pregnant, Desperate Housewives, and most all Reality TV. Commentary of which I feel E! Entertainment is quite possibly the greatest culprit. Thus my overzealous interest in working for such a pop cultural news juggernaut becomes quite a point of self loathing. I think I may point my intentions for internship otherwheres, though the job described in the article still remains the new ideal.

Victoria's Secret Saved My Life: and not in the creepy way

2008-01-06T15:45:00.000-05:00

So while waiting for the bus this morning I grabbed a copy of The Lantern, Ohio State's student newspaper. It was Friday's issue, which would be disposed of early monday morning when the next issue came out. Normally I abstain from reading the student newspaper, a habit I picked up at Kent State after I began to tire of correcting grammatical mistakes made by the university's journalist hopefuls. I will attest to both paper's usefulness however when the matter of drying a wet bench or jamming a door open becomes an issue. Getting back to the point of this post, which was not taking cheap shots at university newspapers I promise you, it was in this issue that I had found what, for now, seems to be the answer to my professional quandary, regarding what I plan to do for a living. It was an article about an Ohio State graduate who found a job doing PR with Victoria's Secret. The job consisted of booking media appearance, and Victoria Secret events, as well as ensuring that the models were sufficiently happy. This, save the extensive travel mentioned in the article, seems to be doing exactly what I love with OUAB. After reading the article I found myself in a bit of a moral conundrum, as the bus had taken me to church, and my mind kept returning to that article, and, as expected, Victoria's Secret. After getting back to the dorm I immediately began to develop a resume. Not being sure what exactly should be in it, I began to just list all the famous people I had worked with for university events, including one Ron Jeremy and Nina Hartley (the name of the female porn star whose name had previously escaped me). I began to find sample resumes and found that simply name dropping wasn't going to cut it. I also began to search for internships across the US, so that during the summer I would not have to make the walk of shame back into the lifeguard chair at Water Works, after I had touted that I would not be returning. A phrase I had heard so many times only to see the once defiant face return the next year, whistle in hand. Some of the most interesting seem to be with E! Entertainment in LA, who generally requires little to no experience. Positions to which I plan to submit a resume for within the very near future.
If you want a look at the article: http://media.www.thelantern.com/media/storage/paper333/news/2008/01/04/Arts/Recent.Osu.Grad.Gets.Victoria.Secret.Dream.Job-3146230.shtml

Comfortably Numb in Columbus

2008-01-03T21:59:00.000-05:00

I've been back in Columbus for my first full day, and already it is back to business. Classes started today. I attended my first class this morning at 9:30, which afterwards I promptly dropped. I actually really enjoy the professor teaching the course, and was quite reluctant to do so, but found that a 20 hour course load may end up being more detrimental than anything to my GPA as I will be starting my first quarter as the president of the Transfer Student Activities Board, an organization I founded after some heavy criticism I articulated to the university at a staff conference last year regarding the lack of attention put on the transfer student community. I also will be serving as an advisor for the Arabic Language Club as it begins to form itself, if not as its president as well, as I have been asked to do so several times. If so, you can be sure that, contrary to my previous leadership roles, I will be far more of an idea man that delegates duties, as I can not even imagine to run two groups in totality. I also have my role in OUAB, which I hope to push into higher responsibility, so as to aid me in ascertaining an executive position next year, comedy committee chair person or the like. There also is my job as an RA, and any shades of a social life that I remarkably seem to retain after all this, along with school itself, which I have been told is the reason I'm actually here. Long story short, I felt that my class schedule was one too many, and in need of a drop. The remaining classes consisting of Arabic 102, Statistics, and Cultural Conflict.
Being home, needless to say after reading my responsibility repertoire, was a much needed and appreciated break from school. I did not pick up any jobs, as I have done most previous winter breaks. While this resulted in a substantial hit on my wallet when it came time to buy presents, it did have the positive effect of making me not so anxious to get back to school, where I was not expected to put in seemingly endless hours cleaning toilets, scrubbing vent hoods four times over, and other such menial jobs. I was able to enjoy the company of my family, and sleep-in until the hours that postdated the double digits. Christmas was extraordinary, though a little unorthodox from previous years, as my sister was not there for the ritualistic walking of the stairs to take in the site of a beautiful Christmas tree seeming to rest upon a sea of presents. All the while being videotaped by our Father, who, yes, still continued this tradition by taping both me and my brother of a quarter century. While I received many amazing gifts, ranging from obscure and unique clothes, CDs, and movies along with a DVD rack big, and unique, enough to hold them all. But by and large my favorite present has been the USB turntable that I received from my mother and father. I had been told that my Dad found this to be a decidedly bad present, thinking that I would not appreciate its convenience. I have, though not an extensive, a, content-wise, respectable collection of vinyls; whose ratio has only recently shifted toward me, rather than my mother, with respect to ownership. It took a bit of a learning curve to understand the software, as the software meant for beginners was only available for PCs, and the professional software was all I was left with. A few tutorials later, however, and I seem to have the basics down. I've been listening to so many songs that I could previously only do so while at home. The one album that has found itself beneath the needle most often being The Jimi Hendrix Experience's debut album "Are You Experienced?" Another much loved present of this Christmas from my parents.
I have a pretty good feeling about this quarter, even though I've recently had a panic attack about what I want to do with the rest of my life, which then translates into what major I'll be perusing. I've listed a few requirements I'd like any future occupation to fulfill: I'd like lots of money, I don't really want to have to do anything, and I want people to know me. Short of a cult leader, or trophy husbandry I seem to be at a loss for ideas. Rest assured that I'll repost as soon as that is figured out, in the mean time, I'll let you know should anything else of relative importance arise.

You've Never Been More Proud Of Me, I'm Sure Of It

2007-11-12T16:38:00.000-05:00

So I finally received a copy of my picture with The Ohio State University's latest featured speaker. A man of honor integrity and respect. A man who devoted his life to the mentally challenged by receiving a Masters Degree in Special Education. I am of course referring to none other than famed porn-star Ron Jeremy, he seriously has an MA in Special Education. Words can not express how truly creepy this man appears in person. Standing at a towering 5' 6", and weighing in at a healthy 275lbs or so, hair, at least what remains of it, slicked back into a maine using only the natural oils graced upon one's head by God himself, one could do little more than stand in a silent awestruck state. After two physical contacts with the man, arm around his shoulder for pictures sake, I ransacked the nearest CVS for every possible prescription of "Crabs-No-More," and "Stop the Burn" that I could find.
The event was a debate on pornography with Mr. Jeremy and Craig Gross, the founder of an anti-pornography church called XXXchurch.com. I really enjoyed the debate, despite its obvious scripted nature. Lines were said in a manner I might liken to those said in a high school musical, or by William Shatner. The question and answer portion I enjoyed much more, as it made things more in the moment, and, while they seemed to lean toward arguments that they had obviously rehearsed on even if it did not directly relate to the question asked, there were decided moments involving new thought processes. Something I did really appreciate was the sense of mutual respect. While on stage the rehearsed arguments seemed to be combative, however to anyone more concerned with the debate as a whole would notice friendly tonalities shining through the fabricated disgust and anger, something which I would later confirm back stage as both the master-debaters, its a posting on porn give me a break, joked with each other and caught fruit in their mouths which they'd throw in the air.
I was a little disappointed that I wasn't able to use any of my cheesy quips, as he was obviously not in the mood for them. During the picture taking, we took one picture which didn't come out, so the camera person said she was taking another, to which Ron replied "This is it, no more." I decided not to even bother with the mountain of gold that I had rehearsed. I really wanted to get a picture with Craig Gross, the youth minister, but he had, while far lower numbers surrounding him, far more faithful to him, time-wise, which would not leave. I did however receive a nice card which I've posted in my room which reads "Stop Floggin' Your Dolphin" on one side and "Don't Spank That Monkey" on the other. Fun night I guess, something different to do.

adrusu alairabiia, lakin la arifu kalima wahhida

2007-11-01T00:52:00.000-04:00

That is a rather rough romanized version of a sentence I used in my first arabic mid-term, as it was a dialog in front of the class. I've found writing arabic words in english characters a bit of a challenge, as there are frequent sounds that do not exist in english, and visa-versa. Just ask an arab person to say "pepsi," if they weren't exposed to english before the age of 12 they wont hear the difference between "b", which does exist in arabic, and the "p", which does not. The result will be a slightly humorous "bebsi." I'm assuming you would like to know the meaning of the title: "I study Arabic, but I don't know one word," ah yes, lame bilingual irony.
The past few weeks have been going well for me. My first exams in every class, now that I think about it, received an A-. This is a drastic change from my last few quarters where I was ecstatic to have a D which would then be curved to a B. Hopefully this trend continues, In Shaallah, so that my GPA, which took a hit those last two quarters, has a chance to recuperate.
I still try to hide the cover of my Vampire Studies class while I walk around. Unlike another person in the class, I tend not to, "fly my dork flag rather high." I like to lead people into thinking I'm normal before I spring my eccentric tendencies on them. I do however appreciate the dry, sarcastic humor of my TA, which I fear is lost on largely freshman audience. The class in it's own strange way has rekindled the pride I once had in my Slavic heritage, one that took a back seat to the Sicilian side, which for the first half of my life I had no idea existed. It was only as people made more and more references to the vowel at the end of my name, and how people were decidedly more responsive to talk of an Italian, even though its Sicilian, heritage, that I began to become more attune to it. Once more, my flaunting of Italianism was done so out of a lack of knowledge of where my last name came from, and what that entailed. Going through this class and citing moments of clear cultural recognition, I bear far less hesitation, if any at all, when explaining to people that while my last name and features might point in one direction, I was in all honestly raised quite Slavic. That is, up until our departure from St. Michael's Byzantine Catholic church, and our re-settling at St. Anthony's Italian Catholic church, which I'm sure did not help the cultural identify issues mentioned previously. I think about trying to find my way to a Byzantine Catholic church more and more, however, when I did so two summers ago I had been supremely disappointed in seeing a static state of affairs accompanied by a great void where the slavic nature of the parishioners once shined through, generally in the Slovak spoken during mass, which is no more. All the same, I'd like to try somewhere once more, and it is my understanding that, while not immediately accessible, there is a Byzantine Catholic church in Columbus.
Another nice realization I have encountered through this class is that while Nosferatu may be hard to watch as a silent film, it becomes increasingly more interesting when set to the music of Portishead, a trip hop band that I have yet to clearly define, much like trying to transliterate an arabic word into english I suppose. Imagine acid jazz, with a hint of hip-hop turntableism, and a female lead singer who also happens to be the illegitimate child of a 1970s James Bond theme singer and a witch. I only realized this after I had found myself dozing off to the pipe organs, which I had truly wanted to watch it with, I had previously seen the movie with a new "industrial" soundtrack which sounded more like the standard beats available off Aunt Martha's synthesizer which Caleb seems to revel in dancing to. I slipped out my iPod and began to play the first track, and while the music didn't necessarily fit every mood of the film it certainly made things more interesting, and creepier. If you've listened to portishead in the dark before, you know what I mean.
On another note, I have been given the opportunity to represent OUAB to a large talent agent, as I track down information for Rainn Wilson, "Dwight" from The Office, for a future show on campus. I've done this before with other talent, but this is the first time I've been given the run around, and it has been quite honestly rather exhilarating to work through the bureaucracy to get some real answers. At first, I took it poorly, but when I confronted the issue and received results, it was actually very satisfying. The experience gave me, if nothing else, a feeling that I was in fact working for an organization that commanded respect, a fact that I don't think I understood, or at least recognized, entirely enough, as I had, more or less, began to take my membership in the organization for granted.
Back to to school, I have an appointment with my advisor scheduled for this Friday at 11:30am, so that I might not continue along my way to becoming the most oddly informed undergraduate. Thinking back to the previous few quarters I can remember a barrage of off the wall electives which I'm relatively certain don't all apply to my major: Scuba, Rise and Fall of the USSR, Italian Cinema, Social Dance, The Vampire in Eastern European and American Culture, and probably some others from Kent yet. I explained to this woman that I needed guidance, and as I can remember from my last visit to her, while I may not be happy about the classes I'm taking she makes sure I take them. So with all these things in line I'm beginning to feel studious once more, and have gained a certain pride in my work here at Ohio State.

So I've Been Sufficiently Weirded-Out For The Day

2007-10-11T15:25:00.000-04:00

For the past few days I've been a little under the weather, so to speak, something that seems to be going around it seems, as a common place conversation around my building has become, "Guess who's sick." I slept for nearly 12 hours last night in an effort to recharge after a week long round of 4am bed times, due to necessary tasks, or personal ignorance. I awoke feeling much better, and astounded that the strange dream I had during the night was, in fact, real. My friend called me at 4am to ask the name of a band our mutual friend had playing on a video game menu screen. That oddity aside, I nearly skipped my vampire class, that still is weird to say, in favor of more rest, but thought it best to go the day after an exam, which I did rather well on I think, only missing "Hercegovina" after Bosnia, which would be the country's full, and proper name. While in the class, we went through the gambit of evil this, vampire that. It was during the discussion on "limited good" (the idea that there is only so much of a good thing, land, money, love, health etc. Along with a belief that when one gains one of these things someone else has to lose it in equal proportion), and the cultural tendencies that accompany it that I kinda felt out of place in the class, or rather right in place with the discussion. The professor went on talking about the tendencies to hide any nice things one may have, by closing off the inside of the house from others' view (constantly closed curtains), and hiding any nice things from public view (Christmas tree away from windows, my car in the garage), and that one does not show, or speak of, nice possessions to unknown or foreign people (which I can numerously count those instances), because all people potentially want what is good of yours. This, he noted, being a predominant belief outside of the United States but existing in small cultural pockets within it as well. Now I understand that my family is balanced perhaps more on the policing profession of my Father than culture, but it is very interesting to note that these "limited good"-esque tendencies are prevalent in Slovak (Mom) and Southern Italian (Dad) cultures. Many of the things that the professor had mentioned and others seemed amused by, I could directly relate to. I basically had a shit eating grin for the duration of that discussion. After limited good had been discussed, we continued on to the "evil eye," and who has it. By far the most talked about was those "born in a caul," or with the amniotic sac fully or partially intact and covering the face, which in the least it, if not in life, is suspected, that my Grandmother had been. Those being "born in the caul" are likely to have extreme luck, "second sight," and/or special abilities, at least within societies that find it culturally relevant. Once more he spoke of the cultural pockets in America that see this, if nothing else, as something special, and important, (in contrast to what he stated the majority of Americans would think) which I can not lie, I would feel at least different about any child I knew born in such a state, after hearing accounts of my Grandmother's "uniqueness." As weird as I felt with him basically stating that I was not in the majority, I seem to revel in it, as I tend to be someone vastly interested in not being the expected. It was nice for a change I suppose to study something I at least in part know from personal experience, as opposed to trying to imagine.

*on a side note: I would like to apologize to whomever I apparently offended with my last post, regarding having to "dumb things down" as I originally wrote, and my obviously inflated ego, which had been brought to my attention via a rather nasty anonymous post which has since been deleted. I take a great pride in how I write, as I had been told most of my schooling that I was extremely poor at it, and behind the others, due to by still prevalent poor spelling ability. It was extremely frustrating that after I had finally been able to show people that I was in fact intelligent, through my writing, that I would be asked to change my vocabulary again, after I had already done so since the first documentation. Writing had, and still is, what I would call an empowering medium for me, as it gives me the ability to think through my thoughts and express them clearly. I did rewrite the ending to the original post because I did note a decided amount of douche baggery, so I do apologize for that, but I do still find my frustrations crippling, as I literally gave up on one documentation, knowing that I would be asked to change it once more, and passed it off to another RA, giving her any knowledge I had on the matter and allowing her to filter it into acceptable writing. Something which is my problem, as opposed to the residents.

Part Duex (read previous post first, unless you like being confused)

2007-10-04T15:37:00.000-04:00

So as promised I would finish explaining what's been going on in a second post, since class time dictated that I had to leave, and considering I seem to get side-tracked a lot, I thought it best to do so now.
This past Sunday my Mom and Dad came to visit. I had told them that I already had a place picked out to go for brunch, Jack & Benny's, a local all breakfast diner, which stays open until three in the afternoon. It was really good, my Dad, a strong Bob Evan's advocated, had even stated on several occasions that he liked this place a lot because 'it taste[d] like home and not a restaurant.' After the quaintness of a cheap brunch stop, we shifted the proverbial gears and had a nice little trek through the more affluent part of Columbus, to which I had never been exposed. We went to Easton Mall, and area which I assume begs to liken itself to Rodeo Drive, with road side store fronts for stores such as Express, Apple, and an extremely expensive gardening store. I couldn't help but to walk around looking at the places and people with the word "toolshed" at the forefront of my mind, completely aware of the irony in my own hypocrisy. It was a neat place I do admit though. In the Gardening store I noticed a set of very unusual, and very expensive orchids, which I coveted to replace my fig tree which was in dire need of a new location with more sunlight, as a good three fourths of its leaves had since fallen off, and the remaining had started to brown. Finding the fifty dollar price tag a bit too daunting, even though it had been offered as a gift from my parents, we proceeded on to Trader Joe's which low and behold, had orchids of the same variety, and more, for thirteen dollars, of which my mother picked up two for my room (one of which is pictured below, along with a present from Steph and Ben's honeymoon in Jamaica). At Joe's I picked up a good deal of mochi as well, which I'm surprised some still remains uneaten.
Later in the evening we made a stop at Bucca di Beppo, a favorite, semi-chain, restaurant of mine specializing in Southern Italian and Sicilian food, served family style, that is, a huge plate of food that everyone grabs something from. As always it was very good, and quite a nice change of pace from campus food. To finish up the trip we swung by the German Village to get some Cinnamon Raisin bread from Ivan's Deli, and to see "The Book Loft" a book store that you quite literally can get lost in, as I was so within a matter of minutes. It looks like a small single house sized book store, that seems to give form to, if I am not mistaken, the house in "House of Leaves" a book which Jeff had been reading quite a time ago which featured a house bigger on the inside than it was on the outside. Each room leads to another, and in some cases just dead ended, I received a call from my mother asking my whereabouts to which I replied, "If I knew, I'd tell you." All in all it was a very nice visit.
Later in the week I received a short talk from my boss, although it seems strange to refer to her as that, about the manner in which I write documentations, which are used as information sources for the university when an incident (be it alcohol, rape, drugs, noise violation, EMS call, etc.) occurs, and which is read to offending parties when necessary, mostly in the student misconduct situations. I braced myself, quite fearful that I had missed omitting any dark humor, sarcasm, or the likewise which has come so naturally to me after a lifetime in the Saraceno household. Contrary to my fears, however, I had apparently upset her and others in the university by using too good of grammar, as can be seen by the university officials wanting to know which dorm was 'housing Thoreau as an RA.' The students had voiced their complaints by stating "I can't say I agree with [the write-up], because I don't even know what it says." Something I would attribute more to a problem with the student than me, but alas I must oblige.
As far as I can recall that has been about it for now, so until something else comes up. . .

Scarlet As A Vampire

2007-10-04T12:30:00.000-04:00

So I've been back at Ohio State for a little over a month now and have been working at my new job as a Resident Advisor, and everything seems to be going well. My free time seems to escape me as I seem to zone out during it only to find that it's over and I need to get started on something else. Since I've been back I've been trying to re-secure the connections I made last year with the campus figure heads. I surrendered my position in ONE Campaign OSU, as I nearly gave myself a coronary last year with the planning of LiveOSU, the concert to promote The ONE Campaign, which evolved into a rather expensive dud, in favor of a backseat role this year, I now assumed the responsibility of being a liaison with the Columbus area Republican and Democratic Parties in the hopes of attending a local convention and meeting their respective candidates for the 2008 election when they make their way around here, citing the experience itself as good publicity on both ends, as ONE has grown to the point of pop culture status and therefore drags along with it all the easily swayed youth that each party is looking for.
As far as my role with the RA position, I have never experienced so much drama before in my life. It seems that once one situation is resolved another pops up, sometimes without the common courtesy to wait for the aforementioned preceding drama to resolve itself first. By my estimate I've had to document eight situations already, while the vast majority can count theirs on two fingers or less. The job, in and of itself, is not too bad, I enjoy the single room, as in the previous two years at college I have found myself rooming with someone of strong pungency, and not having to pay for it is by in large its greatest advantage. For those of you who don't know, or remember, I've been placed on the "International House" floor, which means about half of my residents are from a foreign country, the two trends in origin tend to be Korea and India. I very much enjoy this opportunity as it rarely presented itself at Falls High. To start off the year about half of my floor went across the street to an enclosed soccer field and played a game of cricket, which was actually really fun. I must admit, I felt exceedingly badass while in the possession of a cricket bat, as compared to a baseball bat, mostly as I reminisced about "Shaun of the Dead" I suppose.
OUAB has began once more, to a decidedly slow start, with at least three comics canceling on us (Steven Colbert, Charlie Murphy, and Kevin Heart), but with any luck it will begin to pick up and I'll be able to further inflate my ego by getting pictures with random celebrities. One of which I find myself in quite the moral quagmire over. On November 4th, a Sunday, I will be working an event with Ron Jeremy. However, I have decided since it is set as a debate on pornography between him and a youth minister, who is apparently a good friend of his, I feel like it's ok, or in the least less bad.
As Ohio State is in fact a school, and not just a place for me to network, and hang out with porn-stars, I suppose it would be of relevance to mention my course load, which would also bring me to the title of the post. I have signed up for three classes, which equates to 15 credit hours, not wanting to overload myself the first quarter as an RA. The first and perhaps hardest of the classes has been "Archaeology in the Near East." The difficulty is not really in the subject matter itself, but more of its presentation, as I consistently find myself looking for shiny things as my ADD kicks in during the two hour lecture, followed by the one hundred pages of reading for the week. My language course, which I've been doing surprisingly well in is Arabic 101.01, what the ".01" is for, I have no idea. What is rather interesting to me is that by now in most of the other language courses people have begun to conjugate and create sentence structure and we have yet to finish the alphabet. But all in all I like it. I also find that if you say you are taking any romance language people tend to say, "Oh, okay" with an almost expectatory tone, where as when one mentions they are taking arabic, a certain degree of respect is immediately commanded. I just think it's funny because my "cultural ambiguity," as one friend so eloquently put it, then prompts further questioning as to my personal ethnic background. This has proven true enough to the point that I have convinced a number of people quiet easily that my name was Muhammad, which I then proceeded to correct, after a personal chuckle of sorts. Finally my third course is probably the most infamous of the three, and one which I must get to rather soon truthfully, "The Vampire in Eastern European and American Culture." It was just last night, as I dictated one of the various forms the vampire can take in slavic folklore, that I stated, "I can't believe I'm getting credit for this." I decided to take the class after rifling through different departmental classes for something interesting last year. I came upon Slavic Studies and decided that since I was in truth raised more Slovak than anything else that I should check out some of the available course work. I remember watching, on at least one occasion, a vampire movie with my slavic grandma, during and after which she told related stories of which she had personally experienced, and heard. I remember noting her decided perk in enthusiasm on the subject, and thought that I might get a better sense of her if I were to take such a class. The Scarlet in the title is a reference to OSU's colors, scarlet and grey, but as it is a glorified term for red it is also the color of choice for vampire skin tone in slavic folklore, which is rather counterintuitive to my personal ideas after seeing the pale fanged corpse version in films, also to my disappointment they never had fangs either. I was about to continue on about vampires, but as time would dictate, I need to go to that class, and I really don't need to teach it to you.
I do have more to say but I suppose that will have to wait for another post: here's a little teaser though. . .
Mom and Dad came to visit and my fig tree has about kicked it.

I'll Give Some RA Commentary later

2007-09-03T01:18:00.000-04:00

Here's the "new home away from home" in Morrison Tower, room 416. . .

Honors and Honorably Bored

2007-05-20T15:10:00.001-04:00

So I've finally officially switched over to the new widget based blogger, hence the new header and the "Current Read" section which I have been coveting on AM's blog for some time now. Since I bought the book over a year ago, I've been feeling rather guilty for just having it sit between my bookends, having the occasional person asking me if it was a good read only to inform them that within the past year and few months I haven't found the time to read it. It really is a good book, and gives a new perspective to the family of Malcolm X pre, but mostly, post-assassination. I made the banner, once more as a result of coveting the California Steidl's blog, but mine is not nearly as interesting, mostly because it seems that blogger does not want to upload any of the pictures that I've edited for use, that at least I find more fitting/interesting. The concert on the 19th turned out to be a bit of a bust. It was incredibly under-advertised, but the bands performed quite exceptionally, and was truly a very good event, just missing the 1,500 people we were looking for. There is interest in doing a co-sponsorship with OUAB next year, which would ensure a large, and successful event, plus a great deal of stress taken off my shoulders. I was asked if I was interested in the vice-president position for next year, which I served as this year, under the title of secretary, or GenSec for those faithful to this blog, after the appointed vice-president, more or less, disappeared. I turned it down due to the incredible stress it had put on me, and that I have been asked to found and run a student organization for transfer students, and while I like having a good deal of my hand in multiple things, knew this would spread myself to the breaking point. I officially received a job as an RA in Morrison tower. Most of the RA's won't know what floor they will be working, but four of them were told in advance as they exemplified themselves for a particular living learning community. Two girls will be heading up the Spanish Living learning community floor, and I, along with a veteran RA, were chosen to run the International House floor, which houses many International students. I'm very excited for this opportunity, as I love learning about different cultures, and my chances for meeting and Italian girl increase exponentially, just kidding.
Lately I've been in a veritable music rut, finding it hard to discover new music, that I like at least. But I found this website called Pandora.com (mythology reference anyone?), where you enter in the name of artists or songs that you like and it analyzes them and plays music from those, and other artists which you would most probably enjoy. If there is a song you dislike, you give it a thumbs down and it will take note of that and alter what music it plays based on that. Best thing is that it's free. One big issue however is that it is most probably going to shut down due to some new legislation being past, or so I've heard, either way, I'm going to enjoy it while I've got it.
Back to the "Honors" mentioned in the title, I was asked to attend the first annual "Scarlet and Great" awards banquet. I was unsure why I was invited to it, and in truth still am, as I was awarded nothing, but to the best of my understanding it is because I was nominated for the bronze star pin, which is apparently the highest honor a resident can receive, or resident of the year, I'm not sure, as I've said I never really found out. One good thing however is that I received a free meal from the most expensive place to eat on campus, no complaints there.
This just wouldn't be a post without a serving of famous people pictures, sorry, I feel so "hey look at me" when I post these but my Ma loves seeing them, so here you go. . .

Me and Luadcris, among several others. Not much of a talker. The full extent of our conversation "Hey man" *hand-shake* "Hey"

Bill Nye the Science Guy, and Me. I got him to teach me how to tie a bow tie for Stephanie's Wedding, who better to learn from, right? The "L" thing is kinda hard to explain, it was his idea.

Mike Birbiglia and Me. In case your wondering, I'm pretending to be a bear, a reference to one of my favorite jokes of his where his girlfriend informs him that her greatest fear is that they are growing apart and that he doesn't love her, and when she asks him what his greatest fear is he simply replies, "Bears!"

Mindless Self-Indulgence

2007-04-26T10:35:00.000-04:00

So after what has been on the brink of two months I've decided it's probably best to get back to this whole blog thing before people entirely give up on me.
OSU still remains an exciting place for me, although what should have been the easiest quarter in my tenure here has turned into one full of endless stress. Between running the diversity board, planning the south oval LiveOSU concert, and the, though mostly easy, many classes, I've just about had it. I do at least have the pride in the concert, as it seems to be gaining considerable attention. I had been checking into a bigger name for the show, The John Butler Trio, as the lead singer is a big supporter of the ONE Campaign, but with a minimum $25,000 charge, I simply said, "I'll check with my people," yes I do believe I said "my people" to the agent, hung up the phone and proceeded to laugh hysterically, as we barely can afford the stage cost, around $5,000, let alone cough up that much for a band realistically very few people have actually heard of despite how good they are. The event will be May 19th, so I'll have to let everyone know how it went. I'm a little bit nervous however, as we could not afford a covered stage, so should Ohio decide its want to be, well, Ohio, we're kinda screwed. We also are now competing with two other concerts, the day before, Big Free Concert with Ludacris, and the day after, Rock the Block with Motion City Soundtrack, both of which are certainly bigger name draws than the, though popular, local bands we have lined up. The best we've got now is a band featured on Starbucks' new mix disc which I guess they're selling across the nation, so hey if they actually get big, I'll hopefully be in a good enough position to drop out and make a career out of mooching, just kidding Mom, I'm gonna get a call about that one.
Classes are going well. Calculus remains a thorn in my side but I seem to be off to a better start than before, not a good start mind you, but a better one than last quarter none the less. Italian Cinema is nice, mostly because I'm getting credit for what I most probably would get around to anyway, and just a side note: Aunt Martha you were right Felini. . . weird. Scuba is surprisingly difficult, as he teaches it in such a manner that you plan your own dives, which sounds simply enough, but involves considerable math, to the point that people have told him the course is harder than OSU's calculus courses, an exaggeration, I hope, but having done two now on my own, I can see where they're coming from. Now all I have to do is remember that I can't breath water, a fatal error of judgement on my part the first time we geared up and went under. It is the decisive judgement of the instructor that we should be familiar with what to do should out mask, and or respirator snag on something and come off. loosing a respirator is actually the lesser of the two when it comes to me, as it's attached to you and it never farther than an arms width away, but loosing a mask proved sincerely awkward, as I witnessed the mask pulling well before it was my turn. I noted that the divers previous to me surfaced, something, though of clear common sense was just the opposite of what the instructor, well instructed us to do. But I being a creature driven by my own sense of what is logical, (I say "my own sense" as I'm sure I would be barraged by "you are the least common sense . . ." accompanied by a reference to one of my many mishaps, more than likely the guardrail one) too surfaced. Thought for a second and realized that I shouldn't be up there. I see my buddy, as we must always dive with the buddy system, holding my goggles. I release all the air in my vest and begin the procedure of re-masking and clearing out the water while submerged. . . note how I didn't say that I put the respirator back in. During the corse of the re-masking I take one nice deep breath of stagnant pool water. My eyes shot open wide at the utter realization that I am a dumbass and quickly resurfaced for air. This time analyzing just exactly what the hell I was doing. Put the respirator back in, submerged, replaced the mask only to realized my left foot didn't seem to have the same thrust as the right, due mostly to the fact that I was only dawning a size 12 Chuck Taylor on it. I sense that I probably should explain, the normal sized fins were too small and they were out of the large sized fins, so I was given a pair of extra large, which obviously were too big, they then compensate for this problem by providing a pair of standard issue size 12 Chucks, something that I find rather humorous considering my love for the Chuck Taylor culture. I sport Chucks both on land and sea, I'm one atmosphere level away from becoming there spokes person I think. Anyway, so After then locating my left flipper I was then able to re fit it and continue about my way. This too just about as much time to explain as it did to execute, if not more, so I'm looking forward to todays class where A: it will be twice the depth, and B: The instructor will strip off just about everything, including the tank on our back, which surprisingly floats despite its weight. As humorous as all this is, I do feel better about getting my instruction from a man who, if he added up the hours of dive time he's accrued, will have been submerged for nearly a solid year now. He also brightens our day before lectures with a "Guess who died this week" Scuba news, which though morbid, keeps us serious about what we are doing.
Once more I've found stress relief through OUAB while attending and working events. Most notably Jeff Corwin, the Animal Planet guy and one of two of my Aunt's celebrity crushes, the other being Brendan Frasier, and Stephen Lynch, a stand-up comedian which I listened too since before my freshman year in High School. Jeff Corwin was surprisingly stand-offish in person, not that he was mean, he just seemed disinterested in keeping any sort of conversation with anyone, though he did get a kick out of my request that he sign my headshot, "To Dan, the man that inspired me to be what I am today" or something to the extent of that, a classic line that I stole from my father, thanks by the way. Stephen Lynch was very personable, and it was thus far the best comedy show I've worked.

Me and Corwin, rather proud of the fact that I got him to actually smile as opposed to give the fake grimace of a smile everyone else was graced with

Me and Lynch

Coming up on the Comedy Committee's calendar is Carlos Mencia, which has turned into quite a controversy. Many people don't like his show, including myself, hailing him as a racist, and there are recent citing of joke stealing, a very grave charge in the comedy world. I actually really enjoyed his stand-up comedy before "Mind of Mencia" began to air, as, though it dealt with racial stereotypes, made the point that we all can enjoy poking fun at each other without hurting each other, and so on, however it seems since his show most all his jokes center around Mexican jokes, which he himself is not, being half German, and half Honduran. The campus seems to actually be split on the issue,but both sides seem to be rather fierce on their position to the degree that we have gotten near hate mail for our selection of such a comic, there's a longer story to that which I'm pretty sure I can't discuss online, but feel free to ask in person I suppose. These people have vowed to A: not get tickets and protest outside, B: get tickets and not go, or the most disheartening of the three C:organize people to go and boo at the show. All three of which I find a sad waste of a Monday night. However I've heard countless other praises of how funny he is and how excited they are to be able to see him live. So this too is something that I'll have to update you on after its completion. Until I see/hear from you all again. . . bye, what a lame way to end a post.

Holy Shit!

2007-03-15T23:49:00.000-04:00

I got a "B-" in my Calculus 151 class. This may sound mundane, and in most cases would be a disappointing grade, however you must be made aware that Ohio State University is home to THE hardest math courses in the nation, or so word of mouth goes. To give you an indicator of the difficulty level of this course, they expect, and kept true to their ideal, that the course average on the mid-terms should be around a 55%. I, not having ever taken such a competitive math course, and being out of math for the better part of half a year, struggled much, falling short of the median consistently. I continued to go to tutoring sessions at least twice a week on average for around 2.5 hours per visit, and in the final few weeks occupied my professor's office hours whenever possible. It was in these office hours that he informed me that I "Have a really good chance at a D!" note:there was no malice or ill intent in his voice, he was truly trying to be optimistic. After much anguish, a few nights with little sleep, one without any, I was then able to pull my uncurved grade up to a 65.5% against the final average of 59%. With the astounding 15% curve, at least, I then found myself seated with the improbable B-. Just thought I'd share. I've never worked so hard to get such a grade.

Viva Le Re'sistance!

2007-03-04T13:42:00.000-05:00

So, as it has been some time since my last posting, and as this last week perhaps had more happenings in it than I care to have experienced, I thought it might well be time that I inform all of you to what has been happening down, or over depending on your geographic orientation, in OSU. I started off the week very well. I attended another OUAB comedy show of Leo Allen, and Demetri Martin, of whom I am a big fan of. I was also able to bring a friend of mine to see them, who is on the verge of obsession with Demetri, and got her and a a friend close seats in the OUAB section, but due to certain details, that is enough said of that. After the show I had to wait a good while to meet Demetri as he was so kind as to meet with any fans that wanted to talk to him, and instead of writing his name on a glossy and brushing them aside, he actually and earnestly engaged in conversation with anyone that began one with him. This being a true surprise to myself and others, which while taking considerable time, was nice to see for once. After all the pictures had been taken, and photographs signed, Demetri and Leo said they were hungry and asked if the remaining eight, or so, of us would like to go get something to eat. I would say dinner, but as it was 1am by this point it would be a stretch to give it such a name. "Dinner" was nice, I sat one person away, and I found him to be much more laid back about everything, not really caring where the attention laid during conversation, be it him or any one of us. He talked for a bit about a script he had been working on, at which point I talked with him about the "bug up your ass" feeling you get to write a script, which he and I had both seemed to share. I unfortunately was not able to give him a proper good-bye as my visiting friend had to get to south campus, a good 20 min walk away, and I was unwilling to let her and her friend make the unfamiliar walk on their own so late. I had planned to be back in time to see them before they left, but as I found the booth empty when I returned, this obviously didn't happen.
The following day I awoke with a sore throat that progressively got worse throughout the day, to such a point that I could not remain in the calculus tutor room, that I occupy around twice a week for several hours, for more than a few minutes before finding myself incapable of concentrating, especially since I was accompanied by 30 or so other students and perhaps 3 tutors, which lent little chance for me getting any help anyway. I stopped by Sprouts Cafe', which is turning into not such a bad destination, still with some good limits though, and got my fill of vegan foods. This is when I began to feel even worse. I found my way back to my room, and into my bed, where I would remain for the remainder of the night, for the most part. I went through a few movies, namely, and later on most importantly The Pianist. Finding myself in such a state of sickness I sought out the fast-breaking cold fighting food of chicken noodle soup. After having that, I felt much better only to become much much worse. I cancelled all my meetings for that night, OUAB, All Boards Council, and laid in bed. I later developed a fever, which I can only assume to be true due to the unnecessary chills I felt while bundled up in a warm room, and began to have the hallucination that I was part of the Polish Resistance against the Nazis. Not to say that I ever saw myself fighting, but that I saw myself curled up linking arms and legs with multiple other people, the more people=the stronger the resistance, the less=etc., I went through this most of the night as I woke up around 2am while my fever was breaking. That night I had tried to make an appointment with the school's health clinic but was informed that the late night doctor had called in sick and I would have to call in at 7:30am to make one for the morning. I had felt that if I was in the same condition the next morning that they would have to come pick me up as the 8 or so minute walk would be impossible. But as I awoke, I felt better, not good but better, shuffled to the the clinic by 8am and was brilliantly informed that I was in fact sick, prescribed an antibiotic, and went back to my dorm to recover for the next two days. During my recovery I had to do calculus homework, study for a calculus exam, and write a paper on my thoughts about a research project of my choice involving human evolution. Not exactly my ideal recovery chores. I'd prefer not to discuss the discrepancy in how I thought I did on the exam, and my actual score, suffice it to say I thought I did very well.
This brings us to Friday, as I was awoken by a phone call from an unfamiliar number, which promptly hung up, but then texted "C-Hall" I was then able to figure out that my friend, whom I have discussed the humors of all the phone numbers accompanied by lewd graffiti in the basment bathroom, had graced a stall wall with my cell phone number some time ago. As I had a class near "C" or Cockins Hall that morning, I planned to check my theory very soon. And much to my dismay there upon the stall wall sat my number in pen. I waited until the bathroom had cleared out and began the arduous task of removing my number, at which point another person entered and occupied the stall next to mine. I, no longer caring about much else besides the removal of this number, proceeded with my task and found the neighboring man to eye through the door gap to discover exactly what I was doing once he was finished, at which point I verbally shooed him away. One thing is certain though, even though I was fully clothed, it is still very strange to see someone right up on that small opening peering in at your doings. I was going to fill in the new gap with my friends personal number but finding the possibility of future visitors bothersome, I satisfied myself by informing him that I would be forced to kill him, as he had left me no other reasonable recourse. Once again I found myself at Sprouts Cafe' to refuel. On my way out I grabbed a banana, which would become quite useful later on, as I found the stall graffiti offender asleep in his bed, I proceeded to rub his sheets with said banana, a pay back which he felt far exceeded the crime, one which I felt was only the beginning.
That issue being settled I went on with my day. Meeting up with a friend of mine which I had met at the leadership retreat I attended only the previous weekend. We began to walk around campus, at which point we approached Mirror Lake. As I had said before, I had enjoyed my treks across it and saw now as perhaps my last chance to do so until the following winter. I stepped out, much to my friends disapproval, and found the sheet of ice to act as one, bobbing up and down across the lake. I teased with little foot jabs and hops, until I found myself at a decidedly weak point of ice, at which point I dropped straight through, but as the lake is surprisingly shallow was only submerged to my waste line. It was at this point that I remembered my phone to be in my pocket, and after several failed attempts to get back on top of the ice, I found my way to the side. I then trekked back to my dorm to rinse off, change, and lament over my ruined phone and smelly shoes, a favorite pair of mine, Muhammad Ali classics by Adidas. Long story short, apparently putting a wet phone in the freezer is the best thing you can do for it, as it now works fine, despite some screen discoloration, and I continue to Febreze my shoes with the hopes that the smell will dissipate.
The corse of these events occupying the greater part of one week, I find myself in the need of some down time, which I've found in yesterday and today. Soon one of my vegetarian friends has promised that we will go to one of her favorite vegan restaurants in Columbus, a welcomed shift in dinning, as I found it near impossible to order when I went out last night, trying to explain that butter comes from an animal. Hope to see everyone soon, and I cant wait until Easter, when paska comes back into my life!

Here are some pictures from the comedy show. . .

Leo, Me, and Demetri

At dinner, at Burritos Noches, with Demetri and Leo. Vegan burrito, not bad, not great, but not bad especially considering they aren't used to making them.

Veganism, and Jaunts Around Columbus

2007-02-20T17:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my first day trying out the original "black fast" of Byzantine Lent. That is, "no meat, no dairy," throughout the course of Lent. I found that, as I should have been aware of, Byzantine Catholic Lent begins early, and not late as I had reasoned. I was informed of this after my Aunt Martha's mentionings to me during her visit to OSU and the surrounding Columbus area. As this would be my last supper as far as meat went for a while, I found it necessary to get my fill of animal. At the end of the first day I found myself much more hungry than normal, I blame this mostly due to my simple minded options of the vegan-esque (the only difference I can find is that I'll still be able to eat honey) fasting food, I filled 2 of my meals with salads, supplemented by bad pasta, and some other dishes. I never realized just how frustrating it must be for a college student who chooses the vegan lifestyle, when you have to live on campus and don't really have the option of cooking your own meals. There is a olive branch that the university has offered to the vegitarian/vegan residental community, "sprouts cafe'" which sounds nice enough, but in truth exposes that aforementioned olive branch as a thorny son of a bitch. It is a little buffet in Kennedy commons cafeteria, which while means well, doesn't really offer much, especially if one happened to be vegan, as most of the actual appetizing things were laced with one sort of cheese or another, most likely to cover any taste that might linger from the sub-par ingredients, as Kennedy is not exactly known for its high level of culinary sophistication. I find myself continually checking the labels of food products in the campus grocery (snack food) section, and have found a few options, but nothing thus far that would serve as any great sustenance, to a long time "heavy meat eater." There is a oriental tofu dish available at the close-by food stop, Marketplace, which I have yet to try, but if the previous experiences with their oriental food is any indication, any Asian person would be glad to slap the chef. Sites such as Peta's Accidentally Vegan have been especially helpful, and whenever the alumni decides to let us have the cookware which has been sitting behind the front desk for almost 2 weeks now, I will then most probably find my way to trying the veganlunchbox.com recipes.
Well, as I had mentioned my Aunt Martha, along with my Mother, Father, and my Uncle Larry came down this last Sunday for a nice visit. I made sure to plan thoroughly for this trip, as the last visit was filled mostly by myself running around asking, "What is there to do in Columbus?" After a quick stop at a local cantonese restaurant for real Wonton Soup, o how I've been missing out all these years, we found our way to the Franklin Park Conservatory. I was first interested in going after I had heard of their "Orchid Forest" with over 15,000 orchids. I then found out later from a friend that the conservatory featured multiple environment rooms (Desert, Pacific Island, Rainforest, . . .) and had incorporated art into each, most notably the glass workings of Dale Chihuly, famous throughout our family for the "blue garbage bag" sculpture found at Akron University. I've never been awed by plants before, but I think it was the overwhelming aroma along with near endless numbers of a plant who's beauty I normally find only one flower pot at a time. We then made our way to the aforementioned dinner, at Buca di Beppo, after much confussion and one way street dissorientation, and considering it is in the style of Southern Italian and Sicilian food, I found quite appetizing.
I was a little disappointed to find that my cousin Mike, along with Jenn (his wife), and Caleb (their kid) were unable to accompany us around Columbus, after Caleb found the contents of his stomach much more appealing across his lap than inside of him during the car ride down, but I am sure that there will be other occasions when their visit will be possible.
Here are a few pictures of the day. . .

This is my favorite orchid picture of the day, it actually held enough sway to bump Giada De Laurnetiis off the background of my computer. . .now that's saying something.

The Smith sisters in the Orchid Garden.

A koi pond accented by Chihuly blown glass sphere's.

Walking On Water, And Other Mundane Things

2007-02-06T16:41:00.000-05:00

I'd like to begin with a most fitting, and eloquent quote from my dearest Mother, "It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra!" This most unsuspecting of winters has turned out to be quite the meteorological ass hole, holding back any hint of snow, and at times giving us spring like weather, then when we decided that perhaps Winter is not such a bad guy and let our guard down he pulls some shit like this. The recorded temperature yesterday was a high of 7 degrees, with a wind -chill of -20F, today was said to be colder. This has prompted many students to petition that the campus close due to extreme temperature, as every school in the vicinity as well as multiple downtown businesses have, or so rumor states. The university however has issued a statement simply recommending that students bundle up. One might think that no one would be so ignorant as not to wear warm clothes by I can assure you that just within my immediate recollection I can think of three separate cases of seeing a woman sporting a skirt while walking around campus. As far as I'm fairing, my hands, while my glittens (glove mittens) are in hobo mode, and face literally hurt while making the journey to classes. I have worn Pajama bottoms under my jeans the past few days in the hopes of keeping the cold out. I'm at the point where I think I may be in need of purchasing some under armor bottoms, and by under armor I mean a cheap knockoff brand I can find at target. One distinct advantage to this most horrific of temperatures is that Mirror lake has frozen over solid, and has given me the unique pleasure of not only being able to say "I've been in mirror lake," due to the Michigan Week celebrations, but that "I have been on top of it," as I decided I'd have a bit of a sheep-to-slaughter moment after seeing foot prints tracking across the lake. I tested the surface from the edge yesterday, only venturing out about 5 feet, but it was today that I completed the short jaunt from one side to the other. On a side note I'll know exactly when my mother reads this post, as I will immediately receive a phone call informing me that I have no brain what-so-ever. Perhaps the most amusing part of this situation is that within the university statement they give descriptions of the potential risks at different temperature levels,Here is the level where they state for the first time in the chart that "school closure should be considered" not even required but considered. "Frostbite likely. Outdoor activity becomes dangerous, as exposed skin may freeze within 1 minute. . ." This is the -20 to -60 degree range. I laugh because the average walk to classes can take up to 20 minutes easily. In avoidance of the bitter cold, a friend of mine actually had a pizza delivered for dinner, not too unusual in itself, but rather it's the fact that the pizzeria is one block away, literally. The situation also prompted her to laugh when they asked if she'd like to include a tip for the driver, she stated, "He's only driving around the block, hell you could probably throw it onto our porch." As far as actually closing the university for a day goes, I doubt I will ever live to see that day, as closing OSU is like closing an entire city, and that would simply not work out so well.
In other Columbus news, I was featured on the front page of The Lantern, Ohio State's student newspaper, today. You can see what that's all about with this unnecessarily long web address, I tried to link it several times with no success, obviously:

http://media.www.thelantern.com/media/storage/paper333/news/2007/02/06/Campus/One-Raises.Aids.Awareness-2700325.shtml?sourcedomain=www.thelantern.com&MIIHost=media.collegepublisher.com

The campus branch of ONE has really gotten underway lately, we had our first official meeting, which was attended by around 37 people, far more than I would have ever anticipated. One of the big discussions on the agenda was to have a big concert series in support of OSU's ONE branch, similar to the Live 8 concert put on earlier last year, minus all the expensiveness. Since we would be working on a distinctly low budget, that is unless we can pull together with another organization or get some funding grants, it would have to be strictly local bands. It still has the promise of being a big event though as we have been given the possibility of procuring a ONE celebrity for the event, as well as having President Holbrook recognize OSU as a ONE campus, which is basically a strictly symbolic gesture. It's been done by only two other colleges, neither of which are big enough to recognize the name of. In regards to whom we could bring I made the emphatic recommendation of rapper and portrayer of Ford Prefect in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Mos Def. A name that sets itself up for the argumentative discussion fit for Abbot and Costello, which commenced. "We might be able to get a ONE celebrity." "Mos Def!" "Ya I know, we really should!"
Well, there's not too much more to say on my half other than, if you are one of the two people, namely Steph and Nate, who haven't posted recently, "Stop sitting around on your elbows all day* and write something dammit!"
*shameless Black Adder reference

O, ya and here is the Cal Ripken Jr. Photo as promised. . .

I Believe The Term Is, "As Giddy As A School Girl"

2007-01-30T20:47:00.000-05:00

I just recently found out a certain celebrity has been approved to be brought to The Ohio State University through OUAB for an event. There is only one person, well aside from Sean Connery perhaps, that could get me to actually hold my hands to my face in raw anticipation. . .Giada De Laurentiis! She's doing something, I have no idea really what, the event is called "The Restaurant" I believe, but in all honesty I don't really care. I was just short of demanding that I would be able to work that event and thus be granted the ability to attend the meet and greet where I most assuredly would have a coronary. . .I'm so excited I don't even know what else to say!

Tango Italiano

2007-01-19T23:17:00.000-05:00

Yes I know that the song is called "Mambo Italiano," but that would be rather irrelevant to the recent mad skills that I have come to acquire. Tonight I took around 8 other residents to the RPAC, workout facility, to take free tango lessons courtesy of the OUAB late night committee. This event was also promoted by the diversity board I head up, and thusly counted for work hours, it's sadly unfair to the people that have to clean toilets, and can not get hours practically any other way, but it is what it is. Don't think that I have placed myself upon a podium, and deem myself of better standing because of the dumb luck I had to be landed on a board rather than "facilities", that is "shitter cleaning". I spent the better part of the summer and winter breaks cleaning a toilet with all the technology of a dirty rag, I understand their unfortunate plight just fine. Anyway, back to what's been going on. I tore up the dance floor, and plan to hit up the classes, and a tango party, or Milonga, tomorrow.
As far as classes go I've been doing quite well. I've been beginning to remember math, which taught me another lesson, waiting a year before taking a math class is a horrible idea, if you don't use it, you lose it. The free math tutors the university supplies has been of great help, I went from not knowing what I was doing at all, to not knowing what I'm doing only most of the time now. It's actually better than that, plus I've scored the good fortune of having a math genius as a roommate. My first exam is coming up fast, next Tuesday, so I will be sure to tell you just how many tears are shed across it. I also recently filled out my RA application, we'll see how that goes I suppose. Other than that there is nothing too great of importance going on down here, aside from two other celebrity meet and greets. One was with Cal Ripken Jr. (Hall of Fame'r Baseball player) and the other with Patrice O'Neil (stand-up comedian and host of VH1's "WebJunk 20"). The meeting with Mr. Ripken was a little upsetting as I had promised to get his autograph for my brother, my sister's fiance, Ben, and most importantly my Dad, whom I promised it to in the first place, and I was told by a member of the lectures committee, that I would not get an autograph and might not even get to meet him, as that right was reserved exclusively for those that signed up to work through lectures and not through comedy, although we basically did the same job, that is: stand around with our thumb up our butt (a phrase the girl couldn't quite understand) and smile like a jack-ass at people walking by, my job being decidely a bit more complicated as I was required to offer them hand bills for the Patrice O'Neil Show that was the next day. I eventually did get to go back and got a professional photograph with him, which I will post when I get a hold of it, as far as the autograph goes, we'll see for sure whether I'll receive one or not during the next meeting on Tuesday, all I know is I'll get one at best. There is not much to say about the meet and greet with Patrice, other than it was nice and laid back, not much ado about anything. A friend of mine's boyfriend was unable to go, and was rather upset about this fact, so Patrice proceeded to have this conversation with him via my cell phone: "Hey Jon!, how are yah? Good, what you doin? Watchn a movie aww that's cool. O, hey Jon. . .*patrice hung up*" Thought it was funny as hell. O well, I think I'm done with the whole celebrity shock already, it's not what it once was. I think I would be telling a different story however if A: My Food Network future wife Giada De Laurentiis would come, or B: OUAB would agree to host my idea for a celebrity debate: Sean Connery vs. Christopher Walken. I don't even care what the debate would be about that would just be amazing!

Mellon Collie And The Infinite Saddness

2007-01-10T13:36:00.000-05:00

I've been back at OSU for a week now and a few things have become rather apparent. Namely that cockiness gets you nowhere, this of course being a reference to the tragedy that was the Fiesta Bowl. Now I've never considered myself in the least bit a "sports fan" but I must admit that watching what can only be reasoned to be organized war with your side dominating exclusively became a nice little past time down here. In the first 6 secs we scored which most expected to be only a glimpse of the decimation that was to ensue, o how wrong we were. Perhaps the only amusing thing to see was the throngs of Buckeye fans, a group of people on the verge of an obsessive personality when it comes to OSU, many of whom had made the 1,923 mile journey by car, standing silently as the ball was driven into the end zone by the boys in blue again and again. I almost could hear taps silently whispering throughout the dead still air. But enough of the overly dramatized football game. Things have been going exceedingly well down here. I was named as the head of the Diversity Board in my hall complex, a position that I had coveted for some time, and I've decided to go ahead and apply for a position on the executive board of OUAB for next year. Perhaps just as the committee chair head of comedy, concerts, or lectures, or if I let my ambition, which is admittedly too great for my own good, get the best of me perhaps President. I talked it over with the current president, who has taken quite a shine to me after I had performed a dance move known simply as the inch worm, which requires far less skill, and far more gall than the traditional worm. He had said he thinks I should run for the position and recommended that I continue asking questions, as that is "what they're looking for," I believe were his words.
On a side note, for Christmas I received something I vowed I would never need, an iPod. Now if anyone remembers, I went through the same resistance when DVDs came out and I'm now the proud owner of around 45, 47 if you count the ones at home. I've found that the bitter cold that seems to rip right through the heaviest of coats becomes somewhat bearable while walking to class, across the largest college campus in the world I believe, when I'm listening to some music. I actually don't even mind it many times, as opposed to last quarter when I would rather wait 20min for a bus than walk the 10min back, pathetic I know. The music on the iPod seems to reflect myself, completely in-cohesive, I have Beethoven, TuPac, Jimi Hendrix, Crystal Method, and well, you get the idea. . . random. Another rather exciting gift was the wide screen LCD monitor, which was apparently quite a steal from Best Buy, costing less than my brother's cologne, for my Mac Mini. And I can not forget about the speakers for my car, which unfortunately are not finished being installed yet. Every time I listen to my iPod though I keep thinking, "I cant wait to hear this in my car!" A little vain, I know, but hey I have a few simple pleasures in life, give me that at least.
In regards to classes, they are going quite well, as far as I can tell from one week of classes I suppose. The workload is certainly more demanding that the previous quarter, which had become nearly instantly apparent to me, as last quarter I had to search widely for people that weren't studying to hang out with. Now I'll be searching for time to hang out between reading books, over 120+ pages already for archaeology, I had a quiz over them today that didn't go so well, but as the quizzes count for little and all of our exams are take home, I'm rather confident that it can be made up for with little problem. The class I feared the most, Calculus, is so far not too great of a problem, we are thus far still in the realm of things I have already studied, and also following quite a bit of algebra, which comes to me pretty easily, but I'm still bracing for when the proverbial foot will be run up my ass with something new. My evolution class is going quite easily, it seems to deal more with the archaeological study of hominins, that is archaic primates in the family tree of modern man, rather than the evolution itself. This assumption, however, is most unfairly based upon two days of class so for all I know he's ready to spring the Bonobo talk on us at any minute. He's also used the Farside at least once in lecture which is enough to keep my attention sharp, although 2 hours in one spot tends to make me want to either cry or jam a pencil in my eye.
Well it's the beginning of a new year, that is unless your Chinese in which case you've got a little over a month to go yet, and I suppose I should declare some sort of permanent resolution, in which case for the benefit of you and everyone else I'm going to try to post blogs far more often than what I've been doing. See you all soon.

Me And My Favorite Comedians

2006-12-03T13:54:00.000-05:00

I essence I'm just in the need for an ego boost so I thought I'd show you some pictures of me with some famous people. . .

Me and Jim Gaffigan. . .on a side note I have one of his personal hot pockets in my micro-fridge.

Me and Josh Blue. I'll be honest, I didn't know who he was before the show, and I was kind of in the mind set that I just wanted to see Jim do his stand-up, but Josh was probably funnier than Gaffigan.

I got to meet these two after the show because of the organization that's proudly displayed on my shirt in both pictures, The Ohio Union Activities Board (or OUAB for short), which pretty much plans all the big events that go on on campus. I'm a member of the comedy board (there's also a concert board, lecture board, etc.), which contracts comedians to come and do stand-up. We're planning on getting Steven Colbert and Lewis Black for spring quarter, something that has me worried since the internship excavating the Queen Anne's Revenge pirate ship is in the spring. It's fun to have a "job" that requires me to watch stand-up comedy, pick who I like and suggest that we bring them to campus. I say "job" because I don't actually get paid for it, but my other job which they do pay me for, in room & board discounts, pays me to plan diversity events, and watch foreign films. It doesn't get much better than that, which incidentally reminds me to ask my Mom for the movie "City of God" for Christmas. I'll be coming home this coming Thursday. I can't wait to see everyone again, and get yelled at to find myself a real job. See you all soon!

Watch Out Russia, The GenSec's Back, And He's Ready For Siberia!

2006-11-17T15:36:00.000-05:00

I, being rather unaware of the happenings in my life, found that I left out something that some people might find to be interesting news. For the past few years I've been a member of the "ONE campaign", which deals with combating extreme poverty in the world's poorest nations, along with fighting against the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa, among other issues. (Check out ONE.org for a vastly better explanation) Until recently I've been the average, passive member, receiving e-mails on current issues, and sending messages to political heads voicing my concern for certain causes, but I found out that Ohio State was starting a campus chapter of the organization this year. After a preliminary meeting I sent an informal application to the Columbus chapter's president in search of a position in the newly forming group. The position of president already having been taken by the brain child of the OSU branch, vice-president and Secretary were still out for grabs, along with a number of more minor positions. I unfortunately lost the position of vice-president to some girl who has been to Africa and done work with the very people the campaign is seeking to help, lucky charitable bastard, I didn't have a chance. I did manage, however, to snag the secretary position, and suddenly it dawned on me, the position of secretary is far more powerful than what I, or anyone else, would first assume. Prime example, General Secretary Stalin, he was appointed to be a secretary and he seemed to pull it off as a rather lucrative position. I could be GenSec Saraceno. . .nice ring to it I'd say. Sorry, I'm a huge dork, I know. Plus I'm not too sure about how much power there is to be had in the radial college branch of a non-profit poverty campaign.
As for my preparedness for the frigid air of the Siberian tundra (as the title of this post suggests), where you can literally hear your breath freeze, hit the ground, and shatter, I partook in a yearly tradition held down here at Ohio State. Around midnight the day before the OSU vs. Michigan game, thousands gather around Mirror Lake, which is not too far from my dorm and. . .I'll let you know the rest when I come home for Thanksgiving, its was fun to say the least. A story to look foreword too I suppose. Hope to see you all soon!

Evolution, And Other Simple Things

2006-11-12T15:22:00.000-05:00

So, I'm back posting again, just as promised, though much later than I'm sure you or I could have anticipated. Things continue to be going very well down here at OSU. I was quite shocked to hear the news of the elevator accident made its way to the West coast, as were many others here when I told them about Jeff and Anna Marie's concern from the news. Many far less depressing things have been going on since then. My "seventh row day," in particular, I think would serve as a prime example of my good fortune here. I was unable to ottain football tickets for any of the games this year, as by the time I decided on going to OSU they had all been sold out, my stall time in deciding was partly due to certain Ivy League school wishing to wipe its ass with my $70 application fee. It was on the 28th of October that I found out that a friend of mine's roommate had a ticket he was not going to use for multiple reasons (too cold, we were going to obliterate the other team, Minnesota, to a point that was unwatchable, and he had too much work to get done to bother with the game). I asked him 15 min before the game's start if he was seriously not going, he assured me of that, at which point I asked if I could take the ticket off his hands. Now I would have been happy to see the game from inside the stadium at any level, but it just so happened that this guy was a senior, and he got tickets off the corner of the end-zone 7 rows off the field, even for a weak sports enthusiast like me, it was pretty amazing. The stadium, or "The Shoe" as it is better known, is literally packed and the unison roar of the crowd is something to behold. The entire stadium splits itself into quarters to cheer out "O", "H", "I", "O". Just as promised it was incredibly cold, and I actually sought shelter in the rancid warmth of the men's room for a period of time, but all in all I refused to leave because I knew I would probably never get tickets this good again. And in suit to the apocalyptic prediction the final score ended at 44-0. Immediately following the game I made my way across the Olentangy river to the Schottenstein center where Jon Stewart would be interviewed along with other members of the Daily Show team. I was quite early, as the game let out at 6:30pm, and the Moderated forum would not start until 9pm, although we were let in around 8:15pm. My patient waiting earned me a spot dead center in the 7th row (hence the name "seventh row day"). It too was quite fun to watch, and if anyone had watched the Daily Show's "Midterm, Midwest, Midtacular" live from Ohio State on Tuesday and saw the male correspondent dressed up as a "slutty nurse" for halloween, just be aware that strike of genius came from the moderated forum I was at, as many people arrived dressed for the Halloween festivities, including one Marine reserves-men whom they invited onto the stage, dressed as nothing less than a slutty nurse.
I also have the explicate joy of meeting perhaps my favorite stand-up comedian, Jim Gaffigan, as I am a member of a group that organizes the activities that go on and around campus, and we got him to do a free show on campus that I will be working. I actually wrote to Jim Gaffigan about how I might be able to meet him, and asked him the most prophetic question that came to mind, "If a bunch of ninjas, and a bunch of pirates got into a fight, who would win?" This question being the basis for a paper I wrote for Physical Anthropology, as I had mentioned in the last post, and I am happy to inform you that I have received an A on it. Speaking of this class, and to make sense of this blog posting's title, I found that South Park helped to clarify the theory of evolution for me in a clear cut explanation that I wish had been taught to me long ago. . . . . .It's all so clear to me now!
I'm looking forward to finding myself at home in less than two weeks now. The familiar faces, real food, and the good old familiar bed in the mess of a room I've known for so long. I think the only downside to not having to write my name down on a food order to be called out later is that I will no longer hear someone shout out, "Gorbachev, you order's ready!", or any of the other names I throw their way, today I was "Nemo" by the way. Hope to see you all soon.

So This Is How It Must Feel To Be Drew Carey. . .

2006-10-09T14:34:00.000-04:00

After being battered by requests to continue blogging again, and finding myself in a rather rare situation here, that is sitting with a large amount of free time on my hands I found it ideal to fulfill such requests. It's funny how I used to say that I really liked it at Kent State, and while I was not unhappy there I find it incomparable to the experience I've had thus far at Ohio State, I say Ohio State rather than "THE Ohio State...", as I have been told I will soon begin to say, because I find it a little too condescending for my taste, not to mention that the input of extra words in my sentences tends to hinder my goal of putting as much information into as short of a block of time as possible when I talk.
As most of you, I'm sure, have heard by now, I have devised quite possibly the worlds fastest remedy for pink eye. A story upon which I have been asked to elaborate within the confines of this electronic autobiographical abridgment of mine. It all began when I woke up to get ready for class early in the morning, and my eyes had found themselves sewn together by a gooey cement and reddened by the infection. I went to the bathroom to look in the mirror and without any second guessing I knew I had once again found myself with pink eye. I certainly did not have enough time to go to the doctor before class, and I was unsure if I should even go to class, as the simple blinking of my eyes was interrupted by a midway stall as my eye-lids had to pry themselves away from each other first in order to complete the ordeal. It was inside the confines of the small cramped shower that I began to consider these things, the same place that I was struck by my epiphany. I was already aware that pink eye was a bacterial infection and it was then that I noticed the words "Anti-Bacterial" written in bold letters, as if divinely inspired and written as a sign for me alone, across the front of my Dial shower soap. After turning the bottle over to examine the warning label I found that it read "avoid contact with eyes. In case of contact, flush with water." These words not seeming too threatening, I then proceeded with little trepidation to rub the blue cleanser deeply into both eyes. This was shortly followed by a sharp piecing shriek as I discovered the thing that made the soap anti-bacterial was a certain percentage of alcohol in the recipe. I then scuttled out of the shower having been made decent by an undergarment of soap suds, and began to flush my eyes out, as I had read to do only moments ago. This did very little to ease the persistent stinging which remained long through my classes later in the day. I eventually made it to the optometrist, and when he asked me what had happened I said, "I'm not gonna lie, I rubbed soap in my eyes." He thought this so amusing that he found it hard to write down. He then checked my eyes, as later would his attending. After the previously mentioned tests were completed he said, "Well, two things. . .I cant find any infection, so it worked, but I definitely wouldn't recommend it, and secondly the soap kinda ate at your cornea a little bit so you cant wear contacts for a week, and you'll have to put some drops in every hour, but after that everything will be fine again."
Believe it or not, especially after that previous story, educationally I've been doing very well. Although I did place the Black Sea in the middle of the Middle East on a map of ex-soviet states in my Rise and Fall of the Soviet Union class. A mistake that may seem disheartening to the American attempt to escape the stigma of geographical ignorance, but I did get everything else write, which includes knowing the major cities of Kazakhstan, Georgia, Belarus, Latvia, Azerbajan, and some other random states. Which is Almaty, Tbilisi, Minsk, Riga, and Baku in case you cared. Plus there was no markings on the map past a certain point, the point where the sea should have been actually. I do enjoy that class very much, but found myself very tired and in the unfortunate seat of front dead center this morning, so in a 2 hour lecture I had concocted a very difficult situation as my head bobbed up and down, and that spot on the floor began to beckon me to stare at it for extended periods of time. My other classes are going well too. I very much enjoy my Classical Archaeology class, which actually deals with pre-classic Greece. I'm still not too keen on my physical Anthropology class, as the TA is very much the same as I figured she would be. She assigned us to write a paper on any hypothesis that we could come up with, the paper of course requiring us to use the scientific method to test it. Since she told us it didn't need to be a scientific hypothesis I decided to test the results of a survey using a question some of my friends have argued over down here, "Who would win in a fight, Pirates or Ninjas?" My hypothesis being that more people would say pirates, due to the recent craze over them after the recent release of the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. Ninjas won by the way 55 to 45.
Well, as I have taken up many lines, and probably 30 minutes of your time I'll end this post here, with the promise to write again without the need to ask me to. See you all soon.

Doing My Part To Kill The Environment 9 Miles Per Gallon At A Time...Among Other Things

2006-08-17T22:22:00.000-04:00

My car is running once again. For those of you who do not know it is a 1965 Plymouth Valiant, that has actually been rated at 9 mpg, and that's on leaded gas. As I once told a friend of mine, "I might as well be running on baby seals". I did some work on the car that has lessened its effects on the environment, 11 mpg, woo hoo! There also has been an unexpected side consequence of making the engine stronger and faster. As I have explained time and time again, I refuse to drive like an idiot to prove absolutely nothing to some random guy in a civic. I like my car because it gives me problems to solve and little triumphs when I overcome them, although it does seem like the little problems like to enmass at the most inopportune moments and take far longer than ever anticipated to fix. These small triumphs, though frustrating sometimes, would become a distinct impossibility should I wrap the front end around a tree because I forgot my aforementioned promise. Also I would like to note that even though I'm basically furthering the cause for sky high gas prices and all those pretty polar bears drowning (which I actually don't think is happening too often after studying them for a while, but that's another story) I do try to balance the scales in my favor, back to average human environmental destruction at least, by recycling like a mad fool, ask my mother about it, I honestly think I may be giving her an aneurysm over it. "Why are you throwing that away? It's recyclable."
On another note I have transferred to Ohio State University for the Fall. This is a big move for me as I am a self acclaimed Mamma's boy, but I think I shall manage just fine. I still am pursuing a degree in Anthropology with a focus in Archaeology, which in essence means I'm majoring in being Indiana Jones, although I tend to think there will be less Nazi's, and unfortunately less Sean Connery. I've been in correspondence with a field project in North Carolina that is dealing in the excavation of "The Queen Anne's Revenge". For those unfamiliar with this find it is the unconfirmed remains of Black Beard's pirate ship. There is some skepticism about the authenticity of it, but there is much evidence in its support. After making contact with the excavations head I found that I might very well be able to intern in the late spring of next year, which would prompt the messing of my pants should I actually be able to go. A reaction that I would liken to that which most guys my age would have after being invited to Hef's mansion for a weekend. Although my stay would certainly be longer and far less topless women. I must really be a nerd to be that excited about a sunken ship.
Back to OSU, I will be starting out my first quarter there with only three classes though they are 5 credits each so its not exactly a cake quarter. The classes are Classical Archaeology (pretty self-explanatory if you ask me), Physical Anthropology (which main focus revolves around evolution, monkeys, and cavemen), and The Rise and Fall of the Soviet Union (again, pretty self-explanatory). Physical Anthropology is a science that I could do without. Although I'm all for the poo flinging chimps, and the make up sex bonobos (they never have physical altercations just fornications) it tends to be, in my experiences at Kent at least, filled with self righteous Atheists that love to bash those who still retain an iota of faith in said discipline. I once saw a kid in class challenge one of these professors about his complete Darwinism. It was after class, so I was afforded the blessed option of getting the hell out of there before I was crushed by either side's inability to accept that even a fraction of the other's point of view may be considered the least bit reasonable.
I know its been a while since my last post, in truth I don't even know how long, but I'm sure I will keep up on it once school starts again, especially since I will not have the option of coming home every weekend as I did at Kent. So until then I will simply leave you with the promise of future blogging.

...And I Raise This Mono-Fingered Salute To You, U Penn

2006-05-25T01:38:00.000-04:00

As many of you may have heard, I received the news on Tuesday that I was not accepted into The University of Pennsylvania. It had become my ambition to attend an Ivy league institution in both defiance of my socio-economic status, as well as all the teachers that told me I would amount to nothing more than a trashman (well only one said that, but for reasons of wanting to sound more dramatic I decided "all those teachers" was better suiting). I had joked that I probably wouldn't fit in with all those "loafer wearing, yacht owning bastards" that inherently inhabit Ivy league campuses, as I tend to harbor an inexplicable resentment for those that have lots of money, and I would much rather take a nap than attend a Republican National Convention, which, in my obviously pre-judged notion, is the basis of their recreation. However in truth I think I was far more afraid that I would return home resembling the very people that I now despise, again this idea that all Ivy league students are arrogant pricks is entirely prejudice, but I cant seem to shake it. Contrary to what the title of this post might lead you to believe, I'm actually not too upset about the situation. This is not because I understand that the numbers were running completely against me, 90% of transfers were rejected, or the constant reassurance from my family, but because I have come to the conclusion that I don't care. I could give a five page dictation about my feelings regarding, "going with the flow of life", or the depressing consequences of dwelling on disappointing news, but to avoid that philosophical discussion I think it easier to simply state that I truly don't care anymore. Presently I have become far more focused on just trying to figure out what's next, and I think that's pretty much all I can do right now.

Alice Cooper Means Nothing To Me

2006-05-08T16:47:00.000-04:00

This strange title of course being a reference to the Alice Cooper lyrics "I'm 18...". As of this previous Friday I have graduated to the near meaningless age of 19, soon to be followed by the awkwardness of 20, where I can no longer confide in the fact that I'm just a stupid teenager and thus can not be blamed for my inherent sense of, "what the hell, why not". This year's birthday of mine however, save the underrated count of my years, has been one to remember. It began with the simplicities of gifts from my family, followed by a visit to a Jewish BBQ and a drive in my car to the drive-in theater where I witnessed the rather magnificent sequel Mission Impossible 3 followed immediately by Failure to Launch (It was a double feature and I was with 2 girls, don't judge me). That was to be the end of the official day itself, but it however did not truly stop there. The next day began quite dull as I began my job once more, guarding at the Natatorium. As the hours crept by I decided it was a better idea to visit Screwy Louie's, a local bar and music scene, than to study with a fellow classmate for an exam on Monday, she turned out to be quite drunk and incapable of studying as I found out today, so the better decision was made I feel. At this local scene bar there had been a special show where I could see two of my favorite tattoo artists, Kat Von D and Chris Garver both from the TLC hit "Miami Ink". As I paid the fee for entering, $18 due to my being under 21, I quickly became discontent with my surroundings. The band playing was minimally good at best and there was no sign of the two artists. I began to wonder why I had even spent the money and had contemplated leaving, but was relieved to hear that the two whom I was hoping to see where on their way in. I saw them enter from the side of the room where only a few others could see. They made there way to the stage spoke for a few seconds then exited again. I stood as I had done at Firestone Country Club when Tiger Woods had been there, basically in the way of their path so they were required to walk past me. As she went by I proceeded to put on a goofy type of grin, and was taken completely aback when she smiled back with an almost shy look. At this exact moment I was reminded of my cousin Jeff's encounter with Janeane Garofalo, as he, or at least I'm told, had nearly fallen back. I recalled meeting the President of the United States, and the awkward handshake he had given, the Tiger Woods incident, speaking to the man who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite about his charity, and the short discussion I had with the daughter of Malcolm X. During none of these times had I ever truly felt this, dare I say, giddy. There being maybe one other women who could hold this power over me, Giada De Laurentis, but that is beside the present point and discussion. Kat along with Chris then proceeded to exit the side of the building with a promise to return to give autographs. I waited patiently at the front of the line that had begun to form in front of the signing table, which bore and odd similarity to a bar table with flyers on it, for what seemed to be hours. They finally emerged from the side entrance and made there way to the table, escorted along the way by a number of overconfident steroid advocates. I spoke to Kat and Chris briefly about their jobs and made sure to mention that yesterday was my birthday, and asked both for hugs, that's right both. Kat had told me how her and Chris live and operate out of LA, but film for a few months out of the year in Miami. I told her I would be visiting LA at a later date, to far for me to know at present, and would like to stop by her shop, and possibly receive some of her permanent art work, an idea which she had found quite pleasing. I was ushered out of the way by one of the escorting men whose neck had disappeared somewhere between the muscle that stretched from his shoulder blades to the bottom of his ears, as I was holding up the line. I however made good use of the time that I did have and had already given Kat a piece of paper with my name, and some contact info. It was then after being veritably shooed away that I realized I had not received the basic necessity one pines for after meeting a celebrity, the proof of the meeting itself, their autograph. I made my way to the back and waited through what was a surprisingly short line. After once again reaching the front I explained my situation and was graced with a smile and two signatures. I then posed the questioned possibility of a game of pool, which to my obvious joy was confirmed. Later that night, for they had been asked to mingle more before doing there own thing, the three of us made our way to one of the pool rooms where we played for a good extent of time in basic solitude. I had asked if a third game would be possible, but as Chris checked his watch thought that they would have to be heading back to the hotel. It was much to my surprise that Chris, after speaking with Kat, had asked if I would like to play the third game, for they had more time there than he had anticipated. The games were well played on both parts and I can honestly say that I have not played a game of pool that well in my complete recollection. They then departed with a handshake from Chris and another hug from Kat, both once more wishing me a happy birthday. I too found it was time to leave as the time was fast approaching 2am, and I would have to awaken in a few short hours to begin another long day. The next day I once again found myself at the Natatorium this time recertifying myself in lifeguarding techniques such as CPR and AED use. This was then followed by a quick, and rather late game of golf and toped off by a dinner at the Triple Crown where I partook of my yearly, if that, meal of lobster and steak. A meal I had become addicted to since the wedding of my cousin Mike and his wife Jenn. All in all it had become far more than I had ever anticipated (wow, that sounds way too much like the ending of a bad narrated "made for TV" movie).

Cumulonimbus Tries Cannabis

2006-04-12T13:48:00.001-04:00

A long time ago the ocean married the land and had a beautiful marriage that bore their first child the Earth, they also have another son with a real bad acne problem, Moon, but they don't talk to him anymore, he just hovers around trying to mooch off his stand up brother Earth. Earth being one of those "tough love" types always keeps him at a fair distance away though hoping he'll make something of himself one of these days. Earth then became lonely and adopted some children of his own which he called countries. The youngest and most rebellious of the whole lot was known simply as America. Now America decided that he was such a cool guy that it only made sense to have children. There was the rough and rowdy New York, and the docile Massachusetts, and then there was the freak of the family, Ohio. He may be retarded, no one's really sure. Anyway, as a present to all Earth's grandkids, Earth gave them some adopted children named weather. And I gotta tell you something. Ohio, I think your step-son, Weather, has been experimenting with drugs cause he's acting pretty freaking strange lately. . .It's raining. It's nice. It's winding. It's raining, without any clouds mind you. It's nice again for a few seconds followed by thunder, rain, and bright sun. In the very least he needs some serious counseling.

The Face of Devastation

2006-04-05T13:26:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures from my trip down to Biloxi, Mississippi.

Messages such as this are an excessively common site in and around the city. It was a grim reminder of the necessity to note that one was not dead.

This is the post-apocalyptic Wal-Mart I spoke of in the last blog entry. If you would note that the entire first floor is missing as it had been expelled like a rocket out the back by the 50ft surge wave that bombarded it, and its parking lot now serves as home for many people.

This is a picture of a casino boat we affectionately, and quite sacrilegiously, called "Noah's Arc". It had been thrown across the highway, which I was riding on at the time of the photo, and had to be pushed back to the beach. The shear size of the boat is incomprehensible due to there being nothing to judge its size by, but just know. The name "Noah's Arc" may not have been too great of an exaggeration.

Here I stand atop the roof which myself and around 15 others worked on to re-shingle and patch the gaping hole left by a tree. It was owned by a man named Pham, who had stayed there for 30 years since escaping Vietnam. "It was never like this," he noted with a forlorn face. You could see the sadness in his eyes as he took in the site of 3 houses standing where there once had been 50 or more as far as I can estimate. There are plenty more photos if you would like to see more.

Still Alive: Do Not Bulldoze

2006-04-03T22:14:00.000-04:00

As a spray painted message upon the side of a house had read, I find it pertinent now. Well minus the "do not bulldoze" part. I'm back for my journey to Biloxi, Mississippi. There was something horrifically beautiful to seeing a city in ruins like that. Someone asked what I thought about seeing one of the big cities on the way back home, not being destroyed, and as odd as it may sound, I kind of missed the destruction. The destruction brought the chance to start anew in so many ways, and new life. A complete city is quite literally cemented into its present state. What really surprised me was the normalcy that people had managed to resume, even though they no longer had a house to speak of. As for the, "Did you bring anything back with you?" question. A tan, new friends, and a temporary Irish accent (I'll explain later). I did not change my views on property, I already appreciated mine in the first place, so it's kinda hard to appreciate them even more, though I do have a better understanding about what it is to be without. I have harvested a new bitterness toward Extreme Makeover, after they chose to build a freaking memorial instead of one single house. Yes I understand it was nice for the people to look at and reflect upon, but when you see people living in tents in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart, that one would begin to think themselves a part of the apocalypse standing in front of, you begin to wonder whether it was a warrented nessesity. A cake made out of dog shit is a shit cake no matter if it has a candle atop it or not. It was nice of them to bring some comfort to a number of people, but it would have been a far better thing to bring a degree of normalcy to at least a few people. Though many people are living in trailers, those trailers are smaller than my dorm room. There are far too many thoughts, feelings, and experiences for me to list here. I have stories of hope, happiness, and horrifying things. Simply ask, and I will be more than willing to have a mini story time session.

Too Far?

2006-03-21T18:42:00.000-05:00

Now I'm not one to be appalled by anything, but this may have been a little extreme, even in the name of humor. TheOnion.com has made a name for itself by satireing news reports, but poking fun at the May 4th shooting may be a little off the deep end. Perhaps, being a Kent State student, it's just that this one hit a little too close to home, but they really have tested their limits I think, and have given a big waving mono-fingered salute to media respect, if there is such a thing. I find it funny and deeply disturbing (the picture mostly) at the same time.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46395

Fear On A Wavelength

2006-03-16T18:47:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally was able to push my U Penn application through. I have found myself in a quiet desperation however as I wait for their decision. A friend of mine asked what I thought about the application, whether I was confident in it or not. The best explanation I could give her, and now you, was that it's like a wave of light, or sound, the mathematical visualization of Sin really (hey if I paid to learned it, I might as well try and throw it into some sort of use). I pretty much ride it like a roller-coaster. One moment I think I'll be in, no questions asked. I have a 4.0, the Dean loves me, I'm in a lot of very good extracurriculars, I have an alumni letter of recommendation how couldn't I get in? (I've just crested the hill) Then I begin to wonder how much they will consider my High School transcript (hold on for the decent), they only accept 12.5% of transfer applications (the screaming begins) I'm not a rich bastard (falling faster), I'm not from an Ivy League legacy (faster), I don't even own a yacht (Ladies and gentlemen, we've hit the trough), but hey, I do have that recommendation letter (and we've begun our ascent back into this perpetual motion). I'm so thankful that the decision should be made around the beginning of April. Any longer than that, and I think my eyes might begin to bleed. What was meant to be, will be.

American History "X"

2006-02-16T22:48:00.000-05:00

Today I met the daughter of Malcolm X, Ilyasah Shabazz. She looked incredibly like her father, a man that had remained foreign to my schooling until this point. In fact I just read his "Address to the Grass Roots Conference" yesterday. Not the friendliest speech mind you, but endlessly powerful, even though the words he used were exceedingly simple. I listened to a recording of the speech as I read it which had made it all the more dynamic. I talked to her for a while about how in school I was taught two black figures (Martin Luther King, and Harriet Tubman) year after year whenever February rolled around, and I had never been exposed to her father until this year. I explained to her that I had first learned who he was from my Father, the very same man who encouraged me to reject racism. He didn't tell me much, but up until this point it was the only piece of information I had ever received. Never once being taught his words or ways from Elementary School through High School. What struck me most about her Father was the mention that he was only in his twenties when he began to take such an important role in civil rights. So often we think, "I hope to have that kind of intelligence, and conviction when I get to be his age". . .I almost am! It's shocking really that one can do so much at such an early age. Even Ilyasah herself commented that she still is awed by that factor. I am a little disappointed in that she was met by a meager crowd of around 100 or so people, granted this allowed me to speak to her more easily, and at greater length, but disappointing all the same. I coxed myself into buying her book, "Growing up X", which she had signed after our discussion. It was really an unforgettable night.

The Blackest Anniversary

2006-02-11T02:52:00.000-05:00

Today, or rather yesterday considering the time of day, was the anniversary of Dave's death (if the event event warrants such a title that has long since been associated with joy and happiness). I tried to get a hold of Joel, his brother, but not pressing the attempted communication too hard, deciding that he may very well wish to be alone today. It's a very strange situation for me, in that David had made such an impact in the lives of so many of my friends that the lasting effects of his death seem to have engulfed me. I see how it has truly hurt and burdened some of my closest friends and I try to help them, while knowing fully well that anything I do is nothing but a feeble offering as I have not been so misfortunate as to go through a situation even close to what they are dealing with. They had lost a friend, a brother, and much more. And I stand foreign, thank God, to all such experience. I just wish I could do more.

Ode To Sir Chuck

2006-02-02T22:42:00.000-05:00

It was today that I lost my dear Chuck Taylor shoes to the perils of wear and tear. As I practiced Ultimate Frisbee in the indoor field I made a sharp change of direction and heard the shoes as well as my heart tear nearly in two. Now to my Chuck Taylor connoisseur friend Joel, that just means that they are loved and are made all the better for it, but I like there being material between my feet and the outside. So, I think I need a new pair. Not a better pair, just different. Nothing can replace the feeling of lacing up that first pair of Chucks, and in their honor I have written this eulogy poem...

"You were here but a short time on this earth. Carrying my soul upon my soles. With the' I have walked the streets of D.C., and the ways of my heart. But now you shall forever trodden the sacred paths of sneaker heaven, where you Sir Chuck, are revered as the greatest among the shoes. Like the mighty winged sandals of Icarus you shall soar above me, and lament not if you should find me with another pair, for it is you that I wish to envelope my feet. Tread lightly dear feet for it is in reverence that I offer each step to my long lost, but never forgotten friend of black canvas (reflecting the abyss that I must now walk through alone and bare foot), white toes (as if to let me know that there is hope for a light at the end of the tunnel), and yellow laces (that...held the shoes onto my feet). Farewell I bid you dear friend, I know you are in a better place."

... Well enough of that. My shoes crapped out and I need a new pair and this just seemed like it offered a certain amount of grandeur in asking my Mother for them. So, Mom I need a new pair of Chucks, these ones broke. I love you. :-)

Detroit Rock City

2006-01-23T20:17:00.000-05:00

For all those that have not heard the recent news, my sister Stephanie, will be attending as well as taking pictures for the Super Bowl....She doesn't even like sports, lucky bastard. Anywho, I'm really excited, mostly because I live vicariously through the people around me, pathetic I know, but also because this will be a great portfolio as well as resume builder for her. Yay! In other news I ate raw fish the other day, (milder yay!)

In the Words of Frank Lloyd Wright...

2006-01-18T15:10:00.000-05:00

"Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.", I get to be loose, if only for a moment....I'm refering to the quote, get your mind out of the gutter! I just found out that even though I will be unable to acompany my mother and father to California to see my Cousin Jeff, his wife Anna Marie, and their child Se-Bass (okay his real name is Sebastian but I like the nick name, unlike Jeff and Anna Marie I'm sure), I will be able to putz around the wonderfully abstract city when my Aunt Martha and Uncle Larry go for a visit, thank you so much by the way! I'm going to Cali baby, I really soudn't call it that, I've been told the people of said state find it rediculussly tiresome and will more than likely stone me to death with stale Tofu chips. I guess I'll have to work on that.

Special Ed.

2006-01-18T14:33:00.000-05:00

I discovered something rather interesting yesterday. My first class of the semester wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be. Sure it's English II and it counts all the same, but what I had failed to be informed of, that is until the professor said so, is that I am now enrolled in Black literature English II. This alone was enough to amuse me, but what was even funnier was the fact that neither the majority of the students, nor the teacher are of the African persuasion. I'm beginning to wonder just how much of the African-American experience a middle aged white woman can teach, hmmmmm. In the interest of my indifference between the regular and special English II courses, as well as the inherent difficulties found in switching classes, I've opted to remain in the course. It'll be fun I think...I think.

Here We Go Once Again

2006-01-17T00:30:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow shall be the beginning of a new semester. The previous, and by chance my first college semester, went far better than my parents or even I had anticipated. I received sold A's, earning a 4.0 GPA, something that has eluded me since I stopped receiving stars and began a letter grade system back at DeWitt Elementary. The classes this semester are far closer to my desired major, Archaeology in case you have forgotten, with classes such as "The Roman Achievement". I took the pansy way out and scoured RateMyProfessors.com to find the best teachers, by best I mean the easy ones. This is something I have just recently discovered to be a horrible idea, for when that fateful day comes when I will be forced by prevailing conditions to enroll in a hard professors class I will be inevitably screwed. But this is my first year so I can afford to ease myself in to the whole atmoshpere. I plan to actually try in college, something I regret to say I did very little of in High School, I was always an A and B student, but I never studied or even did all my homework. No need to scorn me about it. I have already done so for myself after receiving a letter from my first pick college, Ohio State, stateing that I would not receive any scholarship money, a deal breaker along the way to attending said University. This semester will be no different than last. I will continue to study, try hard, and start conversations with random people just so I have someone to talk to. My first class will be English, as it was last semester, but it will be at a far better hour than last time, (7:45am), tomorrow I will awaken at 8:00am, and be in no hurry to attend my 9:15am class, ahhh the beauty of sleeping in.

I Need a Young Priest, and an Old Priest!

2006-01-07T00:21:00.000-05:00

I was ever so happy when I opened what was the first of my Christmas presents from under the tree. It was "The Dark Side of Oz" a DVD of the infamous synch between the classic family flick The Wizard of Oz, and Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" album. In fact a few members of my family enjoyed watching a good chunk of it with me later that day at our family Christmas party. What a joyful present I had received, or so I thought. It was today that I discovered a small message written on the back cover of the DVD box that told of a DVD Easter egg (hidden footage or options not in plain view of the menu screen). I eagerly put the DVD into the player and proceeded to follow the messages instructions. The screen went black as my anticipation rose, and a screen appeared Titled across the bottom "THE POET", and smack dab in the middle of the screen were three very unholy looking images, two encircled star insignias, 6 pointed stars, and a horned beast. There then came a shrewd voice that proceeded to read a poem. It was just about then that I had to change my underwear, as by this point I had thoroughly soiled myself. I quickly ejected the DVD and caste it aside. I then crossed myself and like a trauma patient forgot it had ever happened until my median between myself and Santa Clause, that would be my parents, arrived home. Due to an event that we were bound to I could not waste the time to expose my parents to what I had seen, but upon our return they saw it and were duely shocked as I. After later research I would find out that the creator of the DVD is not in fact a Satanist freak, as I had earlier feared, and the "Poet" was an early 1900's man who sought enlightenment through the mystic studies of ancient Egypt, and other such places/times, and was just plain weird. Even so the whole thing still gives me the heebe geebes.
(regarding the out dated use of "the heebe geebes", I'm basically still eight years old at heart and continue to watch old episodes of Scooby Doo, so leave me alone.)

Worst Communist Ever!

2005-12-09T12:46:00.000-05:00

As I walk around campus I have observed many a strange sights, but this one made me go nuts. I support, and even encourage, people to hold the dissenting view, that is if they truly believe it. But it was when I saw a member of the campus Socialist organization preaching to a passerby about what America should do, what would be the "socialist" thing to do. The words that exited his mouth were something like the following..."America shouldn't be feeding the poor in other countries, it should keep the extra food it has and feed it's own starving people." What the hell? That is the least socialist thing I have ever heard! He continued to banter on about this, at which point I had to walk away. Socialism, in theory at least, supports the idea that there will become no social classes and that the world will become equal in a veritable Utopia. And before anyone trys to tell me that Socialist are not Communists, please explain to me the vehicle by which Socialists plan to use in order to convert to Socialism...It's Communism! In order for all to be equal, you must first force all to be equal, because man is inherently selfish and must be taught to accept total equality. Problem is this doesn't work, the people put in charge of this grand operation are too selfish to relinquish their absolute authority, and turn their transitional government into a Totalitarianship, but I digress. The point is, as the comic-book guy would say..."Worst Communist Ever!".

Yes I'd like a copy of Stephen Hawking's, A Brief History of the....Hey look! A dog with a poofy tail!

2005-12-06T23:18:00.000-05:00

Well I got bored, what's new right, and took an IQ test just to see if the doctors really were right when they told my parents, "He's almost retarded." After taking the test I found out that I had received a score of 129. This meant very little to me, seeing that I had no clue what that was out of, for all I knew the test was out of 1000, and I really was dumb as a rock. After further investigation of what the results mean I found out I'm actually really smart! Looks like all those cartoons that I used to, hell still, watch really paid off. Here's the interpretation of scores...

Score_IQ Description ___ % of Population

130+ _Very superior ___ 2.2%

120-129 _Superior ___ 6.7%

110-119 _High average ___ 16.1%

90-109 _Average ___ 50%

80-89 _Low average ___ 16.1%

70-79 _Borderline ___ 6.7%

Below 70 _Extremely low ___ 2.2%

...so I guess I should be off to Harvard now, not sure why I'm here at Kent State. Don't get all logical on me. I'm well aware that the test I took was an online test which main purpose was to entertain, and it probably isn't anything that would be recognized by MENSA, but hey I like thinking that it represents something close to what I would get should take an official IQ test.

The Apple of My Eye

2005-12-05T13:23:00.000-05:00

God I'm glad I own a Mac! Thank you once again Aunt Martha and Uncle Larry. And the Story goes...

A friend of mine has a virus on her computer that sends itself out to infect members of her AIM Buddy list while manifesting itself under her screen name, while under the facade of a Christmas card. I received this in the middle of a conversation with her and was a little wary at first, as I have heard of the Christmas Card Virus in e-mails, but never through instant messenger. So like a child drawn to candy, or in my case usually anything shiny, I clicked to open it. It processed the message but never opened any card, I shrugged it off as a problem with a Windows to Mac conversion and politely thanked the friend but told her I was unable to open it. She then responded franticly saying that it was a virus that she had thought she had rid herself of earlier in the day, but as was now apparent, still remained. We ended the conversation there, as both of us were not too enthralled with the present situation. I then proceeded to shut down the computer, and unplugged everything. I sat cursing to myself about how dumb I was for trying to open it, and worried that my new computer had become a very expensive paper weight. The next day I found myself at the ResNet office, the University funded computer geek squad, great bunch of guys as I would later find out. I walked into the office and explained my situation, and asked if I would have to pay the $40 fee associated with such occurrences. It was at the very moment that I mentioned that I owned a Mac that they proceeded to laugh, and say "We'll do it for free, there's a million to one chance that you actually have a virus, it's a Mac.", "The virus that your friend had was written for a Windows format, and would not transfer to Mac OSx. No one writes viruses for Macs. I have one and don't even run a virus scan, there just isn't the need." Only 1% of PC owners have a Mac, so in truth it sounds rather reasonable that people just don't bother trying to get one percent of the computer populous. I love having an Apple, not as many gliches, no virus threat, and they look a whole lot cooler. O the joy of being in the minority.

Dave's Day

2005-12-02T16:19:00.000-05:00

What do you tell a friend on the 21st birthday of his dead brother? I'm really not sure, but God knows I hope he's okay.

Holy Hand-Grenades

2005-12-01T14:49:00.000-05:00

Okay I mean absolutely no disrespect to the devout among you but what I do have a problem with is the people dropping Christianity in throngs and reverting to Buddhism seeing it a the ideal peaceful religion without truly understanding the religions beliefs. So many people see Christianity, especially Catholicism, as wrong because of it's notion that some certain styles of life are wrong. I will not delve any deeper into the specifics, I'm sure we can all use our imagination on that one. But where people get it wrong is that they have widely and fantastically come up with the idea that Christians must then hate these people. NO, we are but men and have no place to make such a harsh judgement on any one person. That is God's job and no one else's. Sure we've all seen the TV evangelists shouting that you're going to hell if you don't give them money, they too are not free of my criticism, I find something very wrong with a person claiming oneself to be a veritable prophet when they use all that "holy money" to buy themselves a Mercedes Benz to cruse about their blessed way. My focus here is on the misconceptions on both the Holy Catholic Church and Buddhism. What also makes people cringe at Catholicism is it's violent past with such escapades as the crusades (it rhymed and I just couldn't resist), and the spanish inquisition. No religion is free of a bloodied past Buddhism included. Getting back to the Buddhist beliefs, what most people don't understand is that the ultimate goal of the religion is "extinction", by this I mean to say that they believe that nothing is real and our mind has created this whole existence out of its own selfish need to exist, but then again the mind doesn't exist in the first place. This kinda makes my none existent mind hurt. Buddha, who's real name was Siddhartha Gotama, was the first person to reach enlightenment (extinction) , and he became the Buddha to help teach the world that they do not exist, he is reincarnated in the form of the Dali Lama who then continues this mission, but remember he's not real either. Now to me and many others, including some Buddhists, this sounds too "out there" but it is a widely accepted belief in the east. Many self acclaimed Buddhists are simply people that believe in the notion of Karma, (do good and good will happen to you, do bad and well you get the idea) and a kinship with nature, but reject, if they even have the knowledge of, its core belief of self extinction. I hold no ill feelings toward those who truly accept and deeply believe in this religion and way of life, for that is your prerogative and I respect that. I simply ask that those considering the conversion to Buddhism first examine what they are truly getting into, before they chose to shed themselves of their Christian, or any religion for that matter, beliefs. I could also go off on the Mormons but South Park has already covered that far better than I ever could, and Scientology...just take two minutes to look up what they believe, I can't make a better argument against it than how they themselves put it.

celebrity

2005-11-30T23:26:00.000-05:00

This is my latest essay in English. I'm kinda proud of it. Especially since I pounded it out in only a few minutes after the teacher got angry that I was thinking to long on what to write and not actually writing. It was an essay on celebrity culture in America, I fear I'll have to write another one though. We were supposed to include citations from The Truman Show, and Being There. They were good movies, but it just didn't come up in the course of my thought process. Damn the creative mind!

It was upon a dream I had that all at once I realized the futility that has become our existence. We exult false idols as the golden calves of our pathetic culture of repeatingly engorged celebrity gluttony. It is vicariously that we find meaning and purpose to our lives. Through others we do breath and feel. The world we touch is with the harsh cold bitten numb hands of another, one who has done nothing but lived as we wish we could through the power of that foul wretched monster of green and gold. It is they that we do both criticize and long for. For without them it is the true we would have to face; with all its heart breaking truths and lies. To unmask ourselves to our true unholy existence by removing the pagan gods of Hollywood. Is it not so obvious that this name that we attribute to the finest of life’s existence bears such a resemblance to the word, sound, thought, and feeling of what is most blessed, of what is holy? No we find ourselves now upon the precipice and can travel no more. Shall we take the step and take charge of our own demise? It would now most surely unveil that which is life, or is that our fear? I am filled with contempt for what I am not and can never be, for this is how I am taught to feel. To exist, I give this life a farewell as I cast aside the burdens of celebrity and step as one and alone into the light of day and eternal wretched existence. That which is real. That which is true. That which is life.

Posto numero uno

2005-11-30T18:27:00.000-05:00

Hey I never took spanish but look at me I'm useing it like a jack-ass anyway. This blog was born out of my inherant ability to get bored very easy, thank you ADD. I hope that you will all visit my site frequently, as I fear I may abandon it should no one care. Then again who knows?